i have a 19 yr old son who thinks i cant tell him anything since he graduated from high school and he hangs with guys i dont even know how do i get him to see that he still needs advice to go forward in a positive way without him getting upset
Joyce - posted on 11/28/2012
Thank you so much for the feed back, I'm new at asking questions and receiving answers I will be coming forward with many more questions in regards to my family situations, I hope I finally have a support that Ive been looking for once again thank you for the advice you shared Ill try to go that route with my son
Dr Rosina - posted on 11/27/2012
It must be very hard to want so much to be able to support, protect and do the right thing by your teenager and yet feel so disconnected. My son is only 5 but I have read about and interviewed parenting experts on teens and here are some ideas they've offered in case you haven't tried them:
Spend a little one-on-one time with your son and just listen to him...Ask how his day went etc...offer no advice but just connect so he knows you are there for him and are listening. By doing this daily, you can re-establish and strengthen your relationship. Everyone wants to feel heard. Think of it like when you are sharing with your friend...more than likely you just want them to listen and to understand so you can work out your own answers - perhaps you don;t like it when people offer their advice without you asking for it - trying to fix, improve or change whatever you are sharing
Ask your son if he has anything that is troubling him. Refrain from offering advice (I know it is so hard) and instead ask questions. Invite your son to offer solutions to the issues ... keep saying OK what else could you try, or what might be the consequences if you do that... this way you are helping him solve his own issues as you won't always be there to help him and it shows that you respect him and trust him to work out his own problems.
Here is a link to an interview I did with Annie Fox a parenting expert on Teens - she offers so much great advice about how to connect with your teen.
Hope that helped
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