I have a 3 year old boy who is delayed in speech he just started therapy .he gets very upset when we can not understand him does anyone have any advice?

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Sayeda Saima - posted on 12/18/2012

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i have son 3.8 years old, has delayed speech and hyperactivity, he is very sharp and understand every thing but can not express his feelings.
please give me some advice

Tara - posted on 04/23/2009

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I don't know show delayed your son is ...but i do know because I grew up with a a speech therapist .....all children learn in different ways and at different times...you might be surprised what your son does know!!!! for instance he might be absorbing so much information that he is not paying attention to the sounds that make up a word....a lot of children also have large vocabulary's and learn the words before they learn how to say them .......if he is around a lot of adults this is very likely...because they don't do baby talk or gibberish as children and babies do........he might just be catching up with himself...his ears are always a good thing to check as the other ladies said .......

the therapy will help you bring those words out of him....definitely they will give you cues on how to improve his speech patterns

some things to try in the mean time
roping (a b c d-1 2 3-twinkle twinkle etc.) anything that is sequential will help him develop the pronunciations.......

any songs rhymes are great for this the more repetition the better!!! find ones that he likes and repeat repeat repeat.......in no time you will be astounded at the change and his memory....

also you can try flash cards or toys like a line up of animals..... and as you go through them with your son make sure he looks at your mouth and over dramatize every word and say them in half speed.....this will help him comprehend how to make the sounds and get him to repeat them....when u pick a set of something to work on you want to do the same repeat repeat repeat.....

reinforcement, always let him know how proud you are of him and that he is so smart and doing such a good job....

start a star chart and reward him by letting him put a star or sticker on his chart when he pays attention or does well.....

hopefully some of this will help you!! i doubt there is a problem...every child is different, and they all seem to meet up eventually!! best of luck to you and I know he will astound you!

Casey - posted on 04/24/2009

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I agree that some children really do have these medical issues, but sometimes doctors are too quick to label children these days. It's an easy out for them. They were going to try to do this with my three year old, and I can guarantee you he has none of the above mentioned as per his new doctor. Sometimes parents get worried too and think there is something wrong. I was there when my child wouldn't speak. However, I didn't let that stop me from just working with him more, getting him around other children, etc. I mean to tell you my 3 year old can work any electronic around. Just because they don't always learn as quick as others on some things doesn't mean there is something wrong. Please be patient and continue with evrerything you're doing until there is something proving your child has one of these other issues because there is a good possibility that is not the case, and always seek out second opinions. If you just act like he has something going on and forego the treatment/speech therapy, etc then you may delay him more.

Rae Jean - posted on 04/23/2009

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My son was diagnosed with autism and we also had speech delay. What worked for us was having him show us what he wanted. Also a really great tool is to have what is called a pec book. You take a small hard plastic book and put pages in it. You put velcro on the pages. Then you take pictures of things taht he like: food, toys, places,and so on. This way he just takes the picture out of the book and gives it to you. It cuts down on frustration, on BOTH SIDES :)

Lindsay - posted on 04/23/2009

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When my son first started speech last summer, he was very frustrated too. His therapist taught us a few basic signs to help get past this. When he would use the sign, we would reward him with whatever he asked for immediately and would also say it a few times to try to help him asosciate the two. We also had tubes put in his ears becasue when she had us go get tested we found that he had fluid on his eardrums that was making it hard for him to hear us correctly. The main advice I can give is to be patient, work closely with his therapist so that you understand things she is doing with him to avoid confusion, and give it time. This June it will be a year since he started therapy and the difference is amazing. He is still not totally caught up but the communication we have with him is like a night and day difference. I know that with us, as the communication barrier began to come down, his behavior also improved drastically. Speech therapists are amazing and just stick with it! It will get better!! Good luck to you and your son!

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Kristi - posted on 12/19/2012

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My son is very delayed in speech too. He's receiving ABA therapy at school where they "model" the word for everything and then have him try. By listening to his versions of things, we're able to understand a lot more than we did just a few months ago. We also have signs for certain words that he uses. I blog about our adventures with him at http://www.findingninee.com. I'd love to hear more about what types of therapy you're trying and what you've done. Hang in there!

Megan - posted on 10/27/2012

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Have you tried to teach him sign language... there is plenty of websites that can teach u how to teach your child simple signs so that he can communicate what he is needing.

Brenda - posted on 04/30/2009

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Thank you all so much for all your advice it is so helpfull.

Yes Scot has tubs they were put in last june and the docter said it did have somewhat to do with his speech delay.

So far Scot as been in therapy for 2 weeks i am tring to be positive but i am not sure about the tacher , they sit at a table and talk and look at books and draw so far and also she has canceled 2 of his apt,

From what some of you have said he sould be getting more age fun therapy for a 3 year old! I am not sure i have him in the right spot and it took me all school year to get him placed in therapy!!!!! He goes to preshool through our puplic school.

sould i find a summer program for him?????? any one have any ????? MI

NIcholle - posted on 04/23/2009

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i have a niece who is three and is mentally challenged and she doesnt talk...an easy way to communicate is with sign language it is fast for children to learn and makes it easy for a child to tell u what they want....in fact my son who is 14 months knows how to sign some things like please, thank you, more, food, and milk check out the books!!!

Kelly - posted on 04/23/2009

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My son is 5 and he has a speech delay...he used to get really frustrated...there wasnt much that we could to stop him from getting upset...we just had to say calm and relax and help him get through it...the therapist should be able to help you talk to him...good luck hun

Sandra - posted on 04/23/2009

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Quoting Sandra:

Sing songs and nursery rhymes. Make it fun. One of the song we sang was: Wiggle wobbly whoo an elephant sat on you and you. Meaning all the children names my son was Derek and he would say werek and ( pass the elephant around the table.) Puppets work great also. Our speech therapist used building block also. Our speech therapist also made the kids move there tongs around to different positions. It's hard to explain when I am not in the room with your child. I hope this help. But it has to be fun or your child will not wont to go back. Baby Whisperer is a great book.
Good luck.


I forgot we used a ball and rolled it on the floor to each child and before you knew it all the children were saying ball. The therapist always said keep the word simple.

Sandra - posted on 04/23/2009

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Sing songs and nursery rhymes. Make it fun. One of the song we sang was: Wiggle wobbly whoo an elephant sat on you and you. Meaning all the children names my son was Derek and he would say werek and ( pass the elephant around the table.) Puppets work great also. Our speech therapist used building block also. Our speech therapist also made the kids move there tongs around to different positions. It's hard to explain when I am not in the room with your child. I hope this help. But it has to be fun or your child will not wont to go back. Baby Whisperer is a great book.
Good luck.

Jennifer - posted on 04/23/2009

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Quoting Rae Jean:

My son was diagnosed with autism and we also had speech delay. What worked for us was having him show us what he wanted. Also a really great tool is to have what is called a pec book. You take a small hard plastic book and put pages in it. You put velcro on the pages. Then you take pictures of things taht he like: food, toys, places,and so on. This way he just takes the picture out of the book and gives it to you. It cuts down on frustration, on BOTH SIDES :)



This is so good I also did this and my son has autism and it helped so much  Good luck !! Jenn

User - posted on 04/23/2009

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Hi I know what you mean my son was in seech therapy for 3 years he just finished when he started school, They will have workshops for you to go to as well as the therapy with him and they have lots of good ideas at those and you don't feel like your the only one doing these things they make it a game for the kids my son loved going like if they say words that they have a hard time with right 3 times they get a turn at the game. We use to have our son slow down and say what he was trying to say in sections that with the therapy seemed to work for him. You really have to work with them and the activities they send home.

Ashlee - posted on 04/23/2009

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Add in a little sign language, even if you make up your own. My kids didn't start talking till later in life either and simple signs like drink and cookie and alphabet helped us.

Casey - posted on 04/23/2009

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Sometimes it just takes them a little longer. My 3 year old has just really started talking okay within the past 7-8 months. He still has some problems but is doing much better. What helped/helps him more than anything is being around his older cousins. When children hear other children talking they want to communicate more. Also I know I used to do this and it's really hard to stop but if you let them grunt or point to get what they want it delays them more. You have to start trying to get them to ask for what they want by association. If your child wants a cup, hold the cup up and say is this what you want, can you say cup or drink for mommy. If you keep this up it will help a lot. The only reason I bring this up is because I was guilty of it myself with my first; I felt so blessed just to have him that I spoiled him into not having to talk for anything he wanted. I am not making the same mistake with the second. Good luck and God bless.

Jade - posted on 04/23/2009

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My nephew and niece both have problems and both were found to have fluid in their ears. My nephew had grommets put in his ears which helped a lot. They both have speech lessons which help, but the biggest thing to help my nephew in particular was starting kindy early. The speech pathologist wrote a letter to the kindy for early enrolment and his speech picked up hugely. Perhaps look into something like this also perhaps?

Jessica - posted on 04/23/2009

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Brenda,

My son had the same problem and I had evaluated twice because I thought something was the matter, But speech therapy was the best thing i could have done because it helped so much! You will really start to see a difference soon :-)

Angela - posted on 04/23/2009

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You have probably already have done this, but i remember when my brother was young he had a speech delay. We found out it was because of his hearing. He can hear good out of 1 ear and the other is more muffled. Good luck.

Joanna - posted on 04/23/2009

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My son is going to be 3 and he has been getting speech for a year now. My son as well as yours get upset but it does get better over time. One thing that we do with him is ask him to point to what he wants. After he does that we then ask him to say it. Most of the time it calms him down when he gets what he wants but at the same time it is helping him talk. Has the doctor ruled out any hearing problems?

Alicia - posted on 04/23/2009

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My son is hearing impaired and has delayed speech, he is also three. We aren't a big fan of us leading us places but after we try to talk about the word and try to understand it (which of course I know you do) then of course we try naming things around us, as a very last resort we have him lead us to whatever he wants. We've gone so far as to lift him to the counter and point to things on shelves. Since our boys are three luckily they want to talk about what they need or what is around them, or even their favorite things. Maybe even find books or have some pictures of some of the things he asks for or talks about most. When you pull out the pictures first have him look through and see if any of those are it first. juice, snack, favorite toy, shoes, etc. Do you sign at all? Simple signs like more and cookie can go far as long as you both have these resources to use. Try looking some up! Good luck!

Jeanne - posted on 04/23/2009

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You can use an alternate form of signing that you make up with him so that he can get his message across. If he is getting frustrated than it is obvious that he is a bright boy and that he just wants to get his meaning across. You can also use pictures...it can take a little while but it will get better.

Amanda - posted on 04/23/2009

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Bless his heart, have you guys had his ears checked I have had 2 friends in the past year who's children had alot of build up in there ears and one was in school about to be sent to speach classes and finally the doctor looked in the babies ears! Just be patient alot of people don't understand small children for me its a gift I rarely find one I can't understand! Good luck and God bless!

User - posted on 04/23/2009

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My son was speech delay. The speech therapists gave us cues to teach him. Sort of like signing until he could express his needs. When he got really frustrated I had to get down to his level and tell him to show me what he wanted. It took lots and lots of patience for us and for him. Hang in there!! People will tell you not to sign b/c he he will depend on it. My son is 6 now and doesn't even remember any of it. Good luck!

Amanda - posted on 04/23/2009

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Secrets of the Baby Whisperer, (there is one for toddlers) the book...reading itmight actually help. It talks about understanding him through different ways of communication other than speech. I bet there are other books that can help too. Good luck and hugz!

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