I HAVE A 5 YEAR OLD THAT REFUSES TO USE THE TOILET PLEASE HELP ME

Mrs - posted on 09/29/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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i have 3 kids but my 5 year old is the issue. he will not use the toilet/potty at all. hes in school but still will not use it. ive tried gifts. rewards,star charts,days out,everything and nothing works . i am out of ideas i have taken him to the doctor and the health visitor and internal problems have also been ruled out. i have tried cutting a whole in his pull up but that doesnt work either. i am stressed and run down. my 2 year old is starting to copy his toilet habits so any advice will be a big help. many thanks

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Mrs - posted on 09/29/2012

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today i tried cutting a whole in his underwear to see if that worked , i sat him on the toilet and he screamed and cried saying he didn't need to go. after a while i took him off and firmly said to him, you make sure you use that toilet when you need to go as usual he said okay. as usual he went straight into his room and done it there instead, so i made him clean up after himself then he got himself changed and he done it again.



i personally don't know what else to try thanks for trying bobbie any other suggestions will be greatly appreciated all the doctors and hospitals and health visitors says that he is medically fine and that i just just deal with it, they say that he will get there in his own time, but he is nearly 6 i understand that potty training is something that cant be forced and cant be rushed but the fact that he knows when he needs to go and just cant be bothered really annoys me, i have been patient for so long, officially i have potty trained him even the doctors even say that mentally he is potty trained he is just to lazy to actually use the toilet. so i am really looking for some advice any advice please i am at my wits end trying to come up with ideas.



greatfully appreciated many thanks everyone

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Mrs - posted on 09/29/2012

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HE ALREADY DOES ALL THAT CHANGES HIMSELF STAYS LIKE IT AS LONG AS POSSIBLE.

HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY BACK UP CLOTHES AT SCHOOL AND WE SEND HIM IN PANTS. BUT AGAIN NOTHING SEEMS TO WORK . EVERYTHING YOU HAVE MENTIONED WE HAVE ALREADY TRIED.



THANKS ANYWAY

Bobbie - posted on 09/29/2012

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I hope this doesn't sound like tough love to you. It isn't meant to teach him a lesson or shame him, but rather put the responsibility square into his hands. He may be having real issues with his 2 year old brother and being jealous but it doesn't sound that way since it seems like he never did train.

NO more pull ups. I would put a plastic liner on his bed under his sheet and be prepared to wash a load of clothes every morning until he gets tired of being cold and wet all night.

In a loving way, without babying him or assisting him with dressing I would give him fresh underwear and walk away when he goes on himself while at home. you could have a basket in the bathroom for all his wet clothes. Make him change them and clean himself up. I would buy the toilet wipes that are flush-able and when he poos on himself make him wipe and clean himself up. Close the bathroom door and tell him to clean himself and be sure to wash his hands. let him go wet and stinky for as long as he feels it doesn't bother him. He sounds as if he can really wait you out to get his way. You have to show him you can wait him out when it comes to this.

It may seem like a lot of work for you but that isn't the point. He needs to gain self alliance and find in himself the greatness of doing it on his own. Do you still dress him? At five he should be pretty much dressing himself, with your supervision on choices only.



When he goes to school there should be no back up clothes, no pull ups. It is only with full responsibility for his own care that he will change his habits. That is all that it is, a habit that mommy takes care of so why the fuss to do it myself?

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