I have a 5yr old who will be 6 in jan. Her biological dad has just now decided to take me to court for visitation rights and hes only seen her once. That was on her first birthday uninvited and unannouced. She has no clue about him because i dont talk about him at all in front of her and she now calls my husband daddy. How do i tell her that theres another guy thats her real dad w out messing her mind up and totally confusing her? Her biological dad hasnt tried to call or come see her and walked out of our lives when i was pregnant w her. Then totally denied her as his until a dna test proved it. We were married at the time.
Crystal - posted on 09/21/2012
Thank you both for the advise! Ive been having a really hard time w this whole situation. I'm very bitter w my ex husband and this all just totally floored me when i received papers taking me back to court. I'm kicking myself for not telling my daughter about him sooner because of the things he put me through. That wasn't right on my part and i still should've told her about him no matter what my feelings are about him are. Now i feel like I'm slapping this in my daughters face. I know you live and learn and these are just life lessons for all of us and that things will turn out just fine. Thank you again!
â« Shawnn âªâ«â« - posted on 09/19/2012
You explain it to her in simple terms. Tell her that her daddy (your husband) is the second daddy she's had, and now the first father she had is ready to get to know her.
They need to be introduced slowly to allow her to get used to him. And even though he is her biological father, he needs to understand that she won't feel comfortable calling him dad, so he'll need to come up with another address, such as poppa, or bubba, or something.
Hopefully he's not expecting a miracle bonding. You can push for supervised visits until you are both more comfortable with the whole situation, but if he truly is the child's father, you technically cannot deny him visits. But...turn it around, and sue him for support. He owes you that much, at the very least
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