i have a 7 week old little girl and i think i might be pregnant again ... but my bf said he wants a abortion if i am. i told him idk if i can go through with that then he got mad at me. i mean i understand we are not ready for another one but i just cant think of ending a life expecially since i had my daughter .. what should i do? :'(
MOST HELPFUL POSTS
Angela - posted on 09/16/2012
Hi Krystal, I'm against abortion but I'll be honest enough to say that I've never been in a position where I might consider one - therefore I've never had one, so I can't preach to others about the rights and wrongs of it.
However, if YOU do not want an abortion, no-one can make you have one. First of all though, find out for sure one way or another whether you're actually pregnant. If you're not, you need to be using some reliable contraception if you're going to continue to be sexually active.
Do not argue with this man about what you're going to do before you even know for certain. If you find out that you ARE pregnant, then have a plan and some answers ready BEFORE you break it to your partner. There are Christian pro-life groups that will help, check out Yellow Pages and websites for these organisations to find out the branches in your area. Some of them arrange free pregnancy tests as well.
If you're NOT pregnant, don't be in a hurry to set HIS mind at rest. Let him show himself in his true colours. And refuse all sexual contact until the two of you have established some reliable contraception. If he complains remind him of how he reacted when learning you were POSSIBLY pregnant. He can't have it both ways - as in "Let's be careless about contraception, it's no big deal, you can always get an abortion!"
Stand up to this guy if you're staying with him!
Deeeeeee - posted on 09/16/2012
I had an abortion 9 years ago and there has not been a single day that i do not regret my choice. And that was my choice, my partner stood by me, but now i wished he stopped me (we're still together). The fact that i killed someone is a heavy burden to carry, AND it was my choice! I cannot imagine the further resentment i would carry if someone bullied me into it. Please think things through.
Alex - posted on 09/16/2012
Its a hard decision because if your not able to support another child then your daughter may suffer as a result. on the other hand if you make a decision you regret you will all suffer as you will have to live with the decision for the rest of your life. only you know in your heart the right decision and if your staying with your bf you will need his support whatever the decision. I personally could never abort a child but its your life and I would never judge someone who did.
Dove - posted on 09/15/2012
I don't think I could stay with a man who suggested I get an abortion.... even if I ended up NOT being pregnant.
I can't tell you what you should or should not do, but I know what 'I' would do.... find out for sure if I was or not.... and then go talk to a lawyer about custody, visitation, and child support.
That might seem a bit 'harsh' especially if you end up NOT pregnant, but any man I am with will KNOW how I feel about abortion and for them to suggest that to me would mean they have zero respect for me.
Krystal - posted on 09/17/2012
Dove : i understand your point of view. But honestly i dont want my daughter going back and forth at such a young age unless it is completely necessary to do so. Also yes i have thought about the fact that if it wasnt for me she wouldnt be here but in order to move forward you have to forget somethings other wise we r stuck in the same spot we started. Nd that would be pointless . Also i appreciate your opinion thank you. O and im not moving in with him anytime soon anymore because i realized we are not ready for that much stress or the financial burdens. So hes gonna move with out me. He got mad at me again about that .
Dove - posted on 09/16/2012
I'm sorry. It really is none of my business, but since you are putting it out here.... How can he be a great father if he wanted you to kill her? So.... he's a great father to her now even though he wanted her to not exist... and now he wants a second child to not exist?
Good luck here!
Honestly, I WOULD leave him and would stop having sex if I were you. He can still be a great father if the two of you are not together. I just worry that this will become a pattern here. Baby is only 7 weeks old... and there's already the fear of possibly another baby.... You aren't even living with him and are planning on moving in with him and another friend and another child... and.....
It is entirely your choice, but you did ask for opinions. I'm REALLY trying to be nice too.
Krystal - posted on 09/16/2012
thank you guys but i cant leave him like that. hes a great father to his daughter and that i am very thankful for. i hope to get a job soon so i can support a second child if i am pregnant. i kno its gonna be 10 times harder since im planning on moving in with my boyfriend and his friend who also has a child. along with still going to school .... sigh damn it ....i feel like this is all on me because if it wasnt for me my daughter wouldnt be here since he wanted a abortion with her too ... sorry if im tellin u a whole lot of stuff i just feel better letting it out. i hope he doesnt talk me into the abortion
Join Circle of Moms
Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.Join Circle of Moms