I have a 7yr old who beets on my 4 yr old what should i do??

Becky - posted on 01/22/2012 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My 7yr old chokes and hits my 4 yr old what should i do??

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Carrie - posted on 01/22/2012

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Put him in time out every time until he stops doing it.. that's serious. He will probably put up a big fight at first so it will be hard to be consistent and enforce this, but it's really important... it's best if you have some help in doing this because it could be emotionally draining, but he needs timeout.

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Kate CP - posted on 01/23/2012

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I think therapy is the best thing in this case for your son. He obviously has some serious anger issues that he needs help to work through. I know you're still scared that he'll hurt his sister but the best thing you can do is to go to counseling, LISTEN to the counselor and do what he or she tells you to do, and do what the courts tell you to do.



I feel there is more to this story that you are not telling. How did your mother get custody of your children?

Becky - posted on 01/23/2012

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I currently dont have them my mom put an op onme and she has them temopraly the judge told them to take him to therpy where i had set it up. We have family councling. Iam still in fear that he might hurt his sitster. I dont know what to do.

Krista - posted on 01/23/2012

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He needs to know that this is NOT acceptable behaviour. If he is violent with his brother, he goes in time-out. Every single time. And none of this "he started it!" bullshit. Explain to him that regardless of his little brother's behaviour, he still has a CHOICE as to how he reacts. And if he chooses to be violent, then there will be consequences. Every single time. And each time he does it, say to him, "You made the choice to hit your brother. This is the consequence of that choice."



If they're playing nicely together, or if you see him resisting the temptation to hit him, pull him aside and say, "Hey. I know that (name) was teasing you, and you wanted to hit him but didn't. I'm really, really proud of you for making the right choice, sweetie." Give a LOT of praise for when he's good to his brother, and swift, predictable consequences for when he isn't. Hopefully he'll soon figure out that it is NOT in his own best interest to beat on his little brother.



In the meantime...watch them closely. Your 4-year-old needs to know that he's not alone, and that you'll protect him.

Bec - posted on 01/23/2012

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oh also make notes of what he has eaten and the times of day he does that kind of thing you might find a pattern eg more in the evening than in the morning and you might detect an allergy with something he is eatting that sets him off more i would make an appointment with a pshyc or peadiatrician and while waiting for appointment make as many notes as possable to get help asap

Bec - posted on 01/23/2012

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get proffessional help as if his anger comes from somewhere else and he takes out on his younger sis or bro might be some underlying issue he needs help with but if it siblling rivalry and jeliousy he will need help with that too as you prob done a few or all the stuff suggested eg time out etc.. you mybe accidently adding to the problem rather than fixing it thats why i would leve that to the proffessionals to guide you through make notes on responses and reactions you do get say with time out and any other thing you have tried to take to a proffessional to help you find the right stratagy for him asap to restore peace and harmony back into your home. good luck

Kyleigh - posted on 01/22/2012

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wow that is serious behaviour issues. Put him in time out and take away things, video games, movie time, go to bed 1 hour early etc..

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