I have a 7yr old with autism, asperbergers and now we are testing for terrets (spelling?), also have 5yr old twins that need attention

Christy C - posted on 10/11/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I have a super amazing son that has a lot to deal with lately. I recently changed his schedule so he is only at school for 3 hours a day. He gets a lot of stress if he is around a lot of noise and a lot of people at one time. He is off the charts smart so we are not all that worried about his academics but I wonder if us taking him out of his 2nd grade class was the right choice because of him not really having any social skills. I don't want to make it worse for him to be around his peers. He already has a lot of trouble with bullies which is bad for many reasons but one in particular, he beats up the kids that are being mean to him and he doesn't always understand that he can't just hurt people if they are teasing him, and that is the reason why I chose to take him out of all the specials like gym, music, lunch, recess, art. Anything that doesn't have more of a controlled area. But if I do this long term am I going to make things worse for him later on in life?
I also have a set of 5yr old twins that need my love and attention too. That's a whole other story...

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Christy C - posted on 10/17/2013

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Thank you Rebekah. I do have him in a lot of different programs. He has a neuro-psychologist. He also has a regular counselor that we sometimes see together and other times with him alone and me alone so I can help him self soothe. He is also in a program at school so he has a "safe place" to go when he needs it. He does have sensory issues too, which is really hard for all of us during the holidays because it's hard for him to be around all of the family at once mostly because of the noise. We also have to take him to school a little after the bell rings so that there isn't any noise in the hall way. It really has been a struggle. I just really hope that I am making the right choices. I am going to look into the shadowing thing. That sounds like something that could work for him. I don't know what I can qualify for. My husband is the sole provider for the family, which used to work for us but now with all of the medical bills from everything that's going on, we need more money of course. I am going to have to look into him getting on medical assistance, that could change everything. Thank you for your support. I needed that.

Rebekah - posted on 10/12/2013

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I would imagine that with his diagnoses, he qualifies for some kind of services. Do you have him connected with any kind of agency that will help him (and you) work with his needs? I don't know where you are, but look for places that specialize in autism spectrum disorders... they should be able to help coach him and give him/you strategies to work on the social skills. Some kids qualify for a "shadow," or therapeutic support staff who is with him for part of the day to prompt and coach him through social situations. If he is sensitive to noises and crowds, he may also have sensory issues (which is not unusual), in which case an occupational therapist might also have good insights on helping him through his school day and self-soothing, etc.

I can't tell you its a bad choice to pull him out of school... you are in that situation, so you have to do what you feel is right. But, as you are already thinking, he does need the social interaction so that he has a chance to learn, interact, and practice social skills. Its just that he may need more help in the school situation to practice the appropriate responses rather than acting out. Did the school have any services to offer you? If not, as I said, I'd look at private agencies (who may be able to have staff come to the school with him for part of the day) and see what he could benefit from. You may have to check with your insurance company to see what is covered, or apply for Medical Assistance, since some agencies only take that kind of payment.

There are also social skills groups designed for kids like your son, led by a qualified therapist, that can help teach him and allow him to have some positive interactions.

I'm sure it can be overwhelming... you have your hands full. Getting additional support for your son will mean additional support for you. Good luck.

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