I have a defiant 14 year old stepson

Proud Mom 33 - posted on 01/09/2016 ( 8 moms have responded )

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I am married to my best friend since July 2011. We have a 3 year old son together and he has a 14 year old son. I have a 15 year old son and 18 year old daughter. My kids and I can't stand the 14 year old stepbrother/son.

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Sarah - posted on 01/09/2016

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You've known this boy since he was a young boy and been his step mom for over 4 years, have you always felt like this about him? Have you kids ever liked him? He must feel terribly unloved and unwanted:

" I don't really want to like him. My kids think he is the biggest idiot they've ever met."
How would you feel if you were trapped in a life with people who felt like this about you?

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Jodi - posted on 01/09/2016

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Wow.......

Did you always not like him or is this a new thing? Because this is just nasty. Who is the adult in this relationship? I'm wondering, because I'm finding it awfully difficult to tell from your posts.

To say things like you are saying about a 14 year old is just horrible. He sounds like a typical 14 year old - he's just a kid who needs support from BOTH of his families. Sounds like he doesn't get it from yours.

Dove - posted on 01/09/2016

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You have absolutely no idea how he feels... because you AREN'T him.

You and your kids HATE him. If you hate a 14 year old (I don't care the reasons)... you as an adult are to blame. Period.

Has anyone in his life gotten him professional help and guidance?

Proud Mom 33 - posted on 01/09/2016

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He doesn't live with us. He is a spoiled brat who thinks he is better. He looks at me as a visitor in my own home and I won't have it. He takes my 3 year olds favorite toys and beats them on the ground. I was that lonely in my own mind teen and I know better than him how he feels and babying him doesn't work. & when he was younger we got along just fine. Now that he is getting older he is changing and is attitude is piss poor

Dove - posted on 01/09/2016

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The more you post... the more I feel bad for the boy... not you. He needs help and guidance and love. 4.5 years of being hated by the woman his father chose to marry has got to be a big contributing factor to his issues. It also sounds like he is suffering from depression... which can seem completely illogical to anyone that doesn't know what suffering w/ chronic depression is like. You don't have a 'reason' to be depressed... it just is.

I hope someone in that boy's life takes it upon themselves to get him the help and stability he needs before he screws up his life even more.

Proud Mom 33 - posted on 01/09/2016

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It's so hard to explain. He is handed everything on a silver platter and he's depressed about it....wtf?? His moms side gives him all the best shoes and clothes and he is always being petted.

Proud Mom 33 - posted on 01/09/2016

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Okay. This is my 1st time on Circle of Moms. I should've elaborated. My 14 year old stepson smokes, dips, has snuck out of the movies with his girlfriend. He is super sneaky and slinks around the house when he is here in silence unless it's to talk to his dad. He pretends like I don't exist. It's fine with me for now. I'd rather not talk to him. I want him to leave. 5 mins is long enough and I want him back with his mom and/or grandma. He NEVER brushes his teeth or takes a shower or changes clothes!!! Yuck. To be honest though....if he did I still wouldn't like him. I don't hate his mom or anything like that. I used to think that maybe I hated her and it was making him hate him....but nope! I think it's him. I don't really want to like him. My kids think he is the biggest idiot they've ever met.

Dove - posted on 01/09/2016

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I'm sure he feels that rejection and it probably compounds whatever other issues he has... The people that need love the most are typically the ones that behave the worst.

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