I have a learning disablility and have a hard time helping my kids with Homework.

Jami R - posted on 01/14/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My kids are 9 and 13 (3rd grade and 8th). Do to my sons needs, I do not work at this time. My husband is transitioning from Active duty to reserves, as well as going to school on the post 9/11 GI bill. My husband tries to help them with math n such but he is in school full time, so it's mostly on me to fix this. Since my husband got out AD we've been pretty strapped financially, in case the advice is to buy a tutor for now.. I rely on public programs for tutoring my kids. Which I signed them up for an after school program called "after school tutoring" at our Kids Club and my kids say they get to play games on the PC. Limited actual tutoring, more like babysitters. I struggled with their work when they were even in kindergarten and I can barely help them. That isn't so much the problem as is their both lying to me about having school work. I get daily progress reports from my sons teachers, I see he is missing work, I confront him, yet he tells me pretty good stuff like "I handed it in late she just hasn't corrected it yet" or "I worked on it during study time." and my favorite,,very emotionally he says" I did my homework the teacher lost it." My Daughter is 9 she says "we had a sub today, so we wont have a hw packet" "we have a project this week in class, so no hw" I had no reason not to believe her until I realized there was a stack of hw packets in her dresser lol..not so funny I guess..Does anyone else have these issues and a tried and true method? My son misses allot of school and there is some communication issues with his teachers as far as make up work. I have to go to the school all the time and mass email Where's his make up work? It's frustrating, like they haven't figured it out he's going to have some. Anyways any advice is appreciated.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/14/2014

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Main thing I figured out was proactive was the best solution. If I'm on top of my kids assignments (here we have an electronic system that I can log into any time to check up to date grades), I can remind him to fix a problem.

I still have to nag, and fight with him sometimes, but my younger is kicking ass over his older brother in grades at this point, so I've finally got a system that works! LOL...

Anyway, good luck. Let me know how things are going!

Jami R - posted on 01/14/2014

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Thank you! You have given me allot of new ideas and I appreciate it.
My kids are very good at this lol
This is brilliant I will find out if any of my sons teachers are willing to participate.
" my son is behind in CAD (Computer aided drafting), and he is required to meet with the teacher before school and during their study period to get caught up. After he blew off the first time, the instructor and I have a system where he just texts me "yes" or "no". If I get a "yes" text from the instructor, it means my son has done his extra work for the day. If it's a "no", then my son knows to hand his computer and phone to his father the minute he gets home from school, and he then spends the evening doing shitwork. (shovelling dog poop, chores, etc). When his instructor verifies that he's doing his work, and catching up, he gets privileges back."

I like what you had to say and will take it into consideration.
I like the idea of the "confirmation" meeting too!
If my hubs was home he would say your welcome :)

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/14/2014

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LOL...Well, your kids have the excuses down pat... I can't tell you how many times I've asked my 16 yo about his missing work to be told "oh, the teacher just hasn't graded it"...Not that its a laughing matter, but I'm glad I'm not the only one getting the run around at times!

Anyway...My best method so far is to pull privileges when they're missing work. Currently, my son is behind in CAD (Computer aided drafting), and he is required to meet with the teacher before school and during their study period to get caught up. After he blew off the first time, the instructor and I have a system where he just texts me "yes" or "no". If I get a "yes" text from the instructor, it means my son has done his extra work for the day. If it's a "no", then my son knows to hand his computer and phone to his father the minute he gets home from school, and he then spends the evening doing shitwork. (shovelling dog poop, chores, etc). When his instructor verifies that he's doing his work, and catching up, he gets privileges back.

For your kids math, are there other opportunities for them to catch extra assistance? Perhaps meeting with the teacher once a week for what I would call a "clarification" meeting, which is basically to clarify anything they may not understand or whatever...? Are there older (HS) students who may be willing to help out? Could their dad, in his student capacity, check on campus to see if anyone would be willing to tutor the kids, or answer questions that may be over your head?

Believe me, I was in the same boat with the math when my kids got to those ages. I actually took a college math course, and asked the instructor to "teach me like they're teaching my kids" so that I could understand the differences in methods between my own education and my kids. They totally teach differently now!

Keep up with the daily communication with teachers. This is important, and the teachers are happy to see an involved parent. If I have any other ideas (or if a serious brainstorm hits, and I discover the answer to all the world's problems) I'll let you know!

Oh, and PS: Thank you to your husband and family for your service and dedication to our country. My father just retired from active duty, and I know how hard that can be.

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