i have a question about access for my ex

Samantha - posted on 07/03/2011 ( 6 moms have responded )

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here's the story we seperated in 06, he had his new gf and pretty much abandoned us, my kids r 4 and 6 right now, he gave me full custody with reasonable and generous access to the children, to which he never followed maybe 4 to 5 times a year, paid support, got into legal troubles, lost his job, (domestic abuse), to which i gave him generous access last summer, pretty much everyday, after christmas 2010, he disappeared, my daughters were devestated, my oldest started acting out in school, had to get her into counselling, and now he wants shared custody(every weekend fri to sun) with the woman whom he assulted and did jail time for. Am i wrong in stating i fear for my childrens well being in that type of situation??? since he has lost his job i have not recieved support, he shows up at my house whenever he feels like it, i have told him not to do this but he continues to do so, i am beyond frustration and need some good advice. i do know that he is their father but i think they need something more stable then whenever he feels like it. please help

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Samantha - posted on 07/03/2011

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thank you..... i just want to do what is right and i do not feel comfortable with them being with him in the situation he is in, i mean my youngest dosent even know him as a father just daddy who occasionally picks her up its not fair to mess with childrens minds

[deleted account]

If you have proof of the abuse (since he was in jail, that shouldn't be too hard to get)... go to court and get the visitations set up through them on a regular basis... preferrably supervised. You are definitely right to want to protect your children from a potentially abusive environment and give them stability w/ regards to a visitation schedule.

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Tamara - posted on 07/03/2011

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In the eyes of an abuser No one is allowed to have any thoughts or feelings unless they give you permission. So thats why. I am sorry you have to go through this with your little ones.

Tamara - posted on 07/03/2011

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I personally don't want my children near someone who is abusive. you never know when or where they will explode. I would go back to court and express this then start with supervised visitation then maybe move forward with that after 6-9 months.

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