I have a set of twins boy/girl. They are the hardest children i have had to raise. I have 7 all together and these two take the cake.(literally) Any basic behavorial advive from moms of multiples?
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Brooke - posted on 12/12/2008
I have boy/girl twins that are 3 years old.....they are complete monsters. They don't listen when you tell them to stop doing something, in fact, they continue to do and look at you because they know that they aren't supposed to be doing it. Time outs, taking toys away, not letting them watch tv, nothing works. If someone out there has a solution, I am just as interested!!!! I have 4 kids, and the twins are by far the worst listeners......
Truesmommy2004 - posted on 04/29/2014
I thought it was just me. I have a set of boy/girl twins that are 3 1/2 and my husband and I are at a loss with them. They are absolutely crazy at times, they beat each other up, pushing and biting, then they love on each other. We have tried all kinds of time outs and 123 magic and they laugh or start counting with us, "thats 2, thats 2…." they think its a joke. I can't even take them to story time at the public library because they just run around. I had to take them out of the middle of story time because I was so embarrassed. Food shopping is a nightmare, they beat each other up in the cart and touch everything that hangs. I just don't know what to do
Sue - posted on 12/12/2008
I'm raising twin grandsons who had to be removed from their mother for abuse. They show really challenging behaviour; some of that is probably a reaction to what they suffered, but some of it is the 'twin thing'. I've raised four children of my own, and nothing prepared me for this. They have to be watched constantly because they will suddenly erupt in violence (vicious bites are their speciality). They get much worse when they are tired, and I think that is aggravated by the fact that they fight off sleep, and one will keep the other awake. Sometimes I have resorted to a sedative to force them to have a sleep after lunch. After that they are in a much better mood. It also means that they are ready for bed later, but life has a better quality.
Sometimes they go into a state I can only describe as "twin mania". They look each other in the eye, start giggling like maniacs, and run around in circles. They act completely deaf, and the level of excitement builds up, feeding off each other. They emit horrendous high-pitched screams which pierce your head like a skewer, and start grabbing anything in reach and hurling things on the floor and knocking over the furniture.
The only thing to do when this happens is to separate them. If there are two adults take one each. If just one person is trying to cope, then the only thing is to shut one in his bedroom for a few minutes until he has calmed down. This has definitely helped.
I also keep two wrist straps on my bag in case they play up when we're out, because they like to run off in different directions.
Becky - posted on 12/12/2008
I cannot speak from lots of experience - my girls are 10 and 5. I have always heard that twins are very difficult to raise, and I believe that's true. Not to mention, you are blessed with a house-full of darlings! What a wonderful thing (except when you want to pull your hair out!!)!
I will suggest what worked with my girls (although every child's different). My oldest is very emotional, and when disciplining her, it helped to gently explain why her behavior made me upset/angry/sad. She responded well to understanding how her actions made others feel. With my 5-year-old, it's more of a "mutual understanding/agreement" deal. When she misbehaves or gets to be a handful, I will (along with discipline for the bad behavior) offer her options for how to correct her behavior. For example, if she pitches a fit about not being able to watch the show she wants, I'll say, "Okay, Kristin. You may either read a book ( play with your toys, color, etc.,...), or you may watch the show that's on and choose what you'd like to watch when this one's over." Most of the time, knowing that she has some control over the specific outcome will help her to choose something that suits her. I will occasionally have to remind her that her other option is to go and sit in time-out until she can stop complaining.
In all, I would assume that each of your little angels differ in the behavioral directions that they individually need. Make sure to discipline them in ways that "speak" specifically to each individual child, instead of a "blanket consequence." You're an amazing woman to be raising 7 children - best of luck!! =)
Luana - posted on 12/12/2008
I am loving this ,i don't feel so alone anymore!!!! nobody around me as twins and they all look at me funny when i say that twins are much harder to raise then singles.They all say that it must be easy now because they can play together ,they don't get that now is when it's hard!!!
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Marissa - posted on 12/12/2008
I have 3 year old b/b twins. I did 1-2-3 Magic with them and one of the guys responds to the time outs but my other boy is so defiant! I do two levels of time out thanks to him. If he isn't willing to stay sitting, he goes upstairs to his bedroom until he can calm himself down.
They work together to do things that they shouldn't. I have locked the pantry and the fridge. I hide it all and put everything up. I am also starting a sticker chart with them but adding one new thing I want them to do at a time. They picked out their own stickers. We're working on brushing teeth in the morning and at night, dressing/ getting jammies on, cleaning up toys and going to bed at night. Right now we are only working on the jammies and going to bed aspects.
Shannon - posted on 12/12/2008
The twins turned 5 in july. I have a 14,10,9,3 year old and a 7 month old. So keeping track all the time of the twins can be very hard i am also a nursing mother who works 11-7 at night and to be honest sometimes i just cant do it. My daughter is outright defiant! Everything is a whine or a no. she does nothing but destroy her siblings things, and sneak food. They can always have something to snack on i just cant stand finding apple cores and granola bar wrappers under the couch and in my heating vents!!! My son all he wants to do is beat up his older brothers and he is always punching himself in the head! Besides those things which make me crazy they are funny and caring children.
Trina - posted on 12/12/2008
Oh man Shannon, I was beginning to think I was the only mother of demonic multiples!!!
I have g/g twins who are 2 1/2 and are on a mission to kill me slowly, I swear. There is no consistency to be had with them, because they do what they want, when they want, no matter WHAT we say. Timeouts are a joke - they laugh at timeouts. They know who is in control and it isn't us. They push each other down and then turn right around and hug each other. They rip any piece of paper they can get their hands on into a million little pieces. They attack the cats, egg each other on at night and keep each other awake, and tell me and daddy NO! all the time. I seriously think they were sent here to do their dark work and drive me into an early grave. I mean, I'm only 32 and have so much gray it's disturbing. I love them and all...they're beauties and are so loving sometimes, but man, they have a wicked streak! Good luck to ALL you mothers of multiples. We need it!
Leigh - posted on 12/12/2008
Hi everyone, I have girl/boy twins which are 5 and I'm sorry to say but they are pretty good. I found the new born stage a real struggle but now they are a doddle. They are very placid which really helps. I have a 10 month old as well now and he's a complete nightmare. Into everything, defiant (yes even at 10 months) and I think is going to be my challenge. I think it would have been disastrous to have had twins like him. You don't say how old your twins are but it can only get better????
Luana - posted on 12/12/2008
Hi .i have twin boys who are gonna be 5 in march and let me tell you they are my monsters.i have tried everything with them and nothing works!!!!! They are the sweetest most loving children but at he sametime they are just constantly getting in trouble.It 'S like they just can't stop themselfs from touching ,climbing you name it they do it.Keeping them active and occupied with as much suppervision as possible is the only thing that as limited the "accidents/messes". I know it's not what you wanted to hear but it's the reality of moms with multiples. Goodluck and Happy Holidays
Jenette - posted on 12/12/2008
I grew up in a family with eight kids and one set of twins. They were the youngest. But, they also had ADHD and were adopted, so there were some underlying issues. One awesome thing that my mother used to make them do, was to run around the block or do some sort of energy reducing punishment when they got in trouble. It seemed to work. But probably, if you are just consistent as you can be, without bending the rules for them, then things will eventually work out. Just be careful, they will play you with their sibling. They can do fun stuff like. (Take or leave this advice...it comes from an older sister's perspective, and not a parent) Hope it all works out.
Yolanda - posted on 12/12/2008
Shannon, I do not have twins but I have two boys that are one year apart. They are the middle children of my 6 kids and we always called them "the twins". They remind me of the boys on the desperate housewives. Though they are adults now, when they were younger, they were my side-kicks. I made them helpers to the younger two and "partners" with the older ones. Keeping them occupied was job #1. But, if they acted out, the consequences were consistent and my husband and I ALWAYS agreed on what the consequences would be. They are great guys today.
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