I have a teenage daughter who is lying and stealing junk food. Help
Sarah - posted on 11/30/2012
Perhaps she is just becoming a teenager. If its her first year of high school you have to expect a little trouble from here on out. The lying isn't right but try to see it from her point of view and find out the reasons she has to lie.
The stealing is very wrong, but if its from the house it's not really wrong, just to much junk. If she's stealing from stores punish her a way you see fit and have her pay back what she stole. If she has started stealing because she doesn't have money of her own, if she has time, suggest she gets a job when she's old enough and get into the habit of earning what she wants in life.
Hope this helps.
Ariana - posted on 11/02/2012
What lies is she telling you? Usually kids lie to keep themselves from getting into trouble.
Is she stealing junk food from stores or from the house? If she's stealing from stores that's a big issue, if it's from your house it's not a 'big' issue but it's still an issue. If it's from stores you should take away all out of the house privilages for a week. So no going to see friends and especially no junk food during that time. Also make her pay retribution to whoever she stole from.
If it's from the house why is she 'stealing' it? Can you give her an allowance where she can go get her own 'junk food' if she wants? She definitely shouldn't be taking things from you if that's a house rule, your food means your limits. I don't think at high school age though that you should be the master of food though and if she wants junk food she should go buy her own with her own money.
Lyings really difficult to deal with. Some of what you should do depends on what she's lying about. Is it random lying? Is she lying about where she is? I believe in natural consequences so if she lies about where she is than you should tell her that she has lost your trust and needs to gain it back (in going out respect) and you're going to put major limits on where she goes. So a gradual progression of not allowed to go out, can only go out when you're the one driving her to where she's going and confirming an adult will be there, going out as long as you can phone and confirm adult around and up and up gaining your trust etc.
Not sure what type of lies they are so it's difficult to know what course of action you should to take. Whatever it is I would also try to explain that lying is not allowed and if you find she has lied to you there will be consequences for that (possibly a different consequence on top of whatever she is getting in trouble for). If she gets in trouble but has told you what's going on 'yeah mom I did this' or w/e even if she has a consequence tell her you appreciate her being honest with you.
High school is a difficult time maybe she needs to talk to a councellor to help her work out everything that's going on.
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