I have a very sensitive/sooky 5yo son.

Lee - posted on 01/23/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I have a lovely 5y/o son. He is very sensory sensitive-to tastes, smells,noise etc. He is also (hate to say it) very sooky and cries over very minor things like getting a scratch (barely visible), having to eat something he doesnt like, getting told off etc etc. I find this really frustrating and want to teach him to be more resilient without critisizing him or making him feel dismissed etc. He is a very sweet, caring, gentle boy but feel he just needs to 'toughen' up a little! Any advice?

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Louise - posted on 01/24/2011

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The only way you will stop this behaviour is to be sharp with him. If you mother him over a small scratch and make a big fuss he will think this is the correct behaviour. When he cries like this then stop him in his tracks with "That's enough it's not that bad" There is nothing wrong with a boy crying when he is hurt but if it is overkill then you could have a problem here. He will be picked on in school as he will be seen as the easy target to get a reaction out of. So you say you don't want to critize him so you don't hurt his feelings, if you don't, things will get much worse for him. You don't have to be nasty with him just change the tone of your voice and stop the tears before they start. you will notice in a few weeks that he does not cry as much if he does not get the reaction from you that he wants. Just balance the day with a big cuddle at bed time.

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Lee - posted on 01/30/2011

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THanks so much-was looking into seascouts/cubs! Will definitely follow up. Thanks Louise!

Louise - posted on 01/25/2011

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Ok if you have tried the sharp tone with him then look into boys clubs around you like cubs. Here mainly boys do boys things like bulldog and outdoor camping (appropriate for the age) making bonfires and outdoor cooking. My youngest son was alot like your son and he went to cubs and when he was old enough he went to sea scouts and from there he blossomed into a confident strong young man with a huge friend base. He will find his feet eventually and start to harden up (for want of another phrase) Taking him to clubs will make him more independant too. Also try karate or judo as these teach body awareness and respect. Most karate clubs start children at 5 and are fun for them to attend letting them gain badges and belt colours quickly to boost their confidence. Both my sons did karate lessons and they loved it. They are taught not to connect to hurt each other and it was a fun class to keep them fit as well. Have a go at that and see if it helps, by the sounds of it you have tried everything else!

Lee - posted on 01/24/2011

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Thanks for advice, have been doing just what you recommend for a long time now-but to no avail-hence my need for advice/suggestions! Just as you said-I am worried that he may be target of other kids at school. I do acknowledge his 'hurt" emotional or physical and behave as you have described-but still not lessening his reactions! More, advice please!!!

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