I have an 11 year old step-son that I need find a way to connect to

April - posted on 10/10/2016 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My husband and I haven't been married for 2 years and it's been a long hard Road for my step-son who I consider my son he has a lot of trust issues and I am trying so hard to connect with him but I don't want to push him and now my husband thinks that I don't love him because he doesn't see it my marriage is quite possibly over because of it but I can't let him go I promised him I was going to be his mother and that's what I meant help

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April - posted on 10/10/2016

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No I don't think my husband would have an issue with that I know he wouldn't butt I tried real hard not to push him and he seemed like he didn't want to spend time with me so I was trying to give him the time he needed we talked a lot and I always tried to encourage him and let him know how special he is and how much I love him when it was just he and I because it was important to me for him to understand that and it still is important to me that he understands how much I love him and want to connect with them but it just feels like I'm fighting a losing battle

Krissy - posted on 10/10/2016

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Kids can be very insecure, especially those from a previous relationship who have had it rough.

Start taking him places and doing fun things togeather on your own without dad, take him grocery shopping, get him involved in day to day activities, it sounds to me like you want to put the effort in to raise this little man, don't let his father interfere with mummy and son time, just do things togeather, surely you don't have to consult your husband if he's not home and you want to take the little man bowling, to the beach (if you're near one) out to some fun land for kids, go to the park, take him shopping with you, be fun live laugh and love life with him, he will come around and soon you'll see a remarkable difference in him, cuddles and love, they are the key. When you're going to do an activity with him don't say to your husband "I'd like to" use words like "today we are" be firm but fair, if he plays up, no Xbox or PlayStation for the rest of the day. If his father interferes and doesn't want you doing these things then you need to take a good hard look at the big picture, because I don't see any parent in their right mind who'd want to stop their partner from bonding with their children.

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