I have an 18 year old son that steals from us, uses drugs and is on probation. I would love to kick home he disrespectful and I dont feel safe in my own home. But where could he go he has no job and we live in middle of no where and has no where to go, what can I do?


♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/21/2014




If your son is not adhering to his probationary terms, you need to turn him in and quit enabling him.

I know that sounds harsh, he's your baby, but the reality of the situation is that your adult child has chosen to break the law, has chosen to threaten and intimidate you in the home that YOU, the PARENT provided for him.

Call his PO, turn his sorry ass in, tell him that you love him, and that, when he completes rehab and can show you that he's truly turned his life around, he will be welcome back in your home.

I'm certain he's got some "friend" that will be more than willing to let him couch surf if you don't want to call his PO, but honestly? You are just showing your adult son that you will enable his illegal actions and not say anything. SAY SOMETHING!

At this point, you cannot say that you have not tried, and you now need to put down your foot, whilst using your other to kick his ass out.

Oh, and, yes, you're in a rural area. So? He made his choices, he can darned well live with them. My gran used to call it sleeping in the bed you made...

Susan - posted on 01/21/2014




If you are scared to be in your own home, I would report him to his probation officer right away. If he is on drugs, he will go back to jail. You do not have to worry about him freezing to death.

He is your son and you love him, I can see that, but you have to keep yourself safe. Call his probation officer.


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Sonny - posted on 01/22/2014




Dont help him untill hes willing to help himself.. sounds like he is seeing how long he can ride it out there and letting him have a place to sleep is enough enablement for him to continue his path of self destructio. Has he ever done any serious time? If not his PO can put enough scare on him with a violation if you tell her whats going on. Ps... it doesnt get better it gets worse untill action is taken if theres no consciences for his actions then he will continue his behavior period. Theres nothing you can look at him and say that will change him no tears no pleading will deture him . His daily life of bumming and stealing and gettimg high needs to be cut off and Jail or rehab is his only hope. Hope everything works out.

[deleted account]

where I live we have homeless people on the street that survive those temperatures. Give him one phone call. Tell him it has to be someone who will get him or to get into a rehab centre. Sometimes someone needs to hit rock bottom before they clean up. And maybe one cold night is what he needs. Send him out with a sleeping bag or drop him off at the nearest town/ city.
You could also contact his probation officer and say he can't stay with you anymore.

Mary - posted on 01/19/2014




Its like 2 degrees a night we live in rural area its not like we have shelters and although I don't want him here I couldn't live with myself if he died because I kicked him out.

Mary - posted on 01/19/2014




its like 2 degrees at night he could freeze to death although I don't want him here I couldn't live with myself if he died its not like we have shelters.

Michelle - posted on 01/19/2014




Sounds like you have to be tough. Like Jodi said, it's not your problem.

Jodi - posted on 01/19/2014




How is that your problem? If he is booted out because he is disrespectful and you don't even feel safe, and you have exhausted every avenue, how is it your problem if he has nowhere to go and has no job? He will be forced to figure it out, won't he?

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