I have an overly helpful, energetic, talkative 3 year old.... how do i deal with him?

Daysi - posted on 10/22/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I am a server at a restaurant downtown and i work in the afternoons i usually get out around 1 am and i pick him up from his nanny's like at about 2 am in the morning. so i am really tired in the morning not to mention that i will start college again in the spring i feel that there is not enough of me to go around. he is a really good kid he really tries to help all the time and he wants to do everything for me and he just has no mute button on him!!! He is the love of my life but I feel like i am not good enough of a mom.. i am at my breaking point and i do not know how to provide him with a better "life"?

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Ariana - posted on 10/23/2012

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Maybe you should try to get a councellor to help you deal with all of these? It all sounds really overwhelming. I know how stressful it can be to try to juggle work/school/kids and give your all for everything.



You can also try to go to the library/early years centre/playgroup/park to wind down? Sometimes getting out and just having the little guy run off on his own can be helpful in giving yourself a break. It'd also be a good time to meet other moms. Even if you don't want to talk to anyone else it can get your sons attention on someone other than you so you can relax.



You might not have a lot of money but sometimes our energy is so stuck on work/kids etc that there's never any ME time. You might want to try to get a babysitter, even for an hour or two, to try and do something that you like (and not napping or catching up on other work either). I mean an hour or two to do something that YOU like, that you're interested in. Sometimes we get so caught up that we don't even know what we're interested in anymore! Even a yoga class or something you genuinely like to do for yourself.



I know how hard things can be and it really sounds like you're doing everything you can. I would try to find a councellor, or someone to talk to, find a spot you can bring your son so you can wind down, and get a babysitter do something you're interested in. It's definitely good that you're talking things out when you're overwhelmed. Good luck!

Daysi - posted on 10/22/2012

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thank you Ariana, this really helps its just a little hard, i constantly feel guilty about not spending enough time with him. and when i do find the time i seem to have a short fuse... i try to step away from by little one when i am at my worst i step out and vent not wanting him to think that he is the reason mommy os always mad... i have tried to set up a routine but i keep failing at it.. :/ i guess i just have to keep trying...



also about having a friend like me well thats kinda hard to find i tried once to befriend another single mom but she turned out to be a kid who simply shoved her problems onto her parents and she was actually they were there for her. unfortunately she did not know how to appreciate... see i have no family and i work and study so much i do not have many if any friends. most of my coworkers are older (you see i am 22) yet they are still unable to comprehend my situation providing no help at all... also i have very little to no tolerance for stupidity, laziness and well i do ask for people to be responsible and sadly people my age are not there yet...



i am confused and tired and sad and sort of disappointed in myself.....

Ariana - posted on 10/22/2012

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It sounds like you're doing the best that you can. Sometimes kids don't have enough to go around, it can be a problem.



My best advice is to try to get a support system. It can be really hard but try to find another single mother or parent who you can go and visit sometimes. I know it can be a real help just to be around another mom who's in my situation, and then the kids play together (hopefully nicely). It takes a special kind of person to have this relationship with but it is possible. Do you have family or friends around who can help? I'm not a very religious person myself but sometimes religious groups can be very helpful (depending on where you go).



Otherwise you're going to college giving the best you can, and you've got a helpful little boy. Everyone gets stressed out about things.



With him maybe set up a time for him to watch tv when you're at your most tired? I try not to let my little guy watch to much but I do try to save it for when I'm at my most tired and n eed a break. This only works if he's only allowed to watch tv for about an hour a day, if you let him watch more it won't keep his attention, trust me.



Just stay strong and try to build a better support system if you can. Come on here and vent if you're getting really frustrated, it can be really hard sometimes. Good luck!

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