I have been going through a divorce for almost 3 yrs now. I have two children 3 & 7. I feel like it is never going to end. Is there any mom's out there going throught the same situation?

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Victoria - posted on 02/23/2012

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Well, if he is wanting the court battle, that is too bad. Not knowing your financial situation or anything about your ex, I really can't give much advice other than say I think the only ones who win in custody battles are the attorneys, from personal experience... You will both end up paying more in attorney fees than any child support would be if you could come to agreement that seems fair to both of you. If there is ANY way he would agree again to mediation to come up with a fair, joint parenting plan which keeps you both equally involved w/ your children that would be sooo much easier on you all... I know, so much easier said than done but those agreed upon parenting plans can then be sent to the court to make part of your decree. That's what we did.. just 2 years too late... After a lot of money and stress. Hang in there.

April - posted on 02/23/2012

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Hi, I tried to go through a mediator in the beginning, but he was not having it. I wish that we could have went that route..it is a lot less than a lawyer. I am willing to share the time with him, I just think a week is to long. The schedule that you have is not bad..than I would only have to go 3 days with out seeing them. We live about 15 away from each..so that would work out good I think. Hopefully we go back to court sooner than June. I just want some finality for the kids.

Victoria - posted on 02/22/2012

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Hi April, I am sorry to hear you are caught up in the court system. Have you tried mediation? We did and it really helped as well as was a lot lest costly. I filed in 2004 and the divorce was final in 2006. It was tough but I decided not to ask for full custody due to my belief that the kids need both of us even with their father's personal addiction issues he was getting help for at the time. I did not ask for money but would likely have had to if not for my job. I realize this is not always possible. Do you live in the same town? We did so shared the kids every other weekend and changed back Monday evenings so the kids were never without seeing both of us for more than 3 days. It is a lot of switching if you are not living close to one another, I realize.

April - posted on 02/22/2012

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Thank you so much for responding Vicki! How long did it take your divorce to finalize? I filed in Sept 2009. We are in the middle of the custody trial..but have not been in court since last June! Currently there is a temporary custody agreement. They live with me from Sunday 7pm to the following Sunday 7pm..and than they are with him for the same amount of time. It is so hard not being with my kids everyday. Their father is fighting me for residential custody and he doesn't want to pay. That is why it has been taking so long.

Victoria - posted on 02/22/2012

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Hi April, my son was 4 and daughter 6 when I went through my divorce in 2004. They are now 11 and 13 and we are all thriving. It is a scary time but, you will be okay as long as you put them first in every decision you make.. Even if it means not battling with their father. Hang in there and know there is light at the end of that tunnel. It was a tough several years but, in a way, it provided a time of bonding for me and my children that they actually remember with fondness. What is the situation with their father? It is tough to mask the stress and worry but remember, you have two beautiful children and that God will provide! -Vicki

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