I have just taken on care of a 12 year old. She tells me 9:30 is her bedtime. I have just changed it to 9 as i need time out for myself. She feels this is unfair. any thoughts from mums of 12 year olds would be great to hear wat others set as a time for bed.

Lisa - posted on 04/26/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )




I'm shattered by 8:30 , i am a single parent so no partner to share the load. I need to send dannielle to bed so I can have some time out myself. I gave her a new bedtime tonight from 9:30 to 9pm. Not a happy camper. Love to know others thoughts please . Lisa


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Dove - posted on 04/26/2015




If you are done by 8:30... I'd have her in her room by 8:30. I'd leave it up to her (but tell her 9:30) when she actually has lights out and goes to sleep (provided she cooperates and functions the next day), but she must be quietly in her room at 8:30. That isn't unreasonable... there are plenty of quiet activities to entertain her in the bedroom... reading, drawing, listening to music, doing a puzzle, etc...

Jodi - posted on 04/26/2015




9:30 would not be unreasonable, but I'll admit my son was in bed by 8:30 at this age. But then, he was a sleepy kind of kid.

I do understand you have just taken on this girl, and it is a lot of hard work, and you need time to yourself. However, you also don't want to be seen as unreasonable or you may be setting yourself up for failure.

I would suggest you try to negotiate a compromise with her - 9:00 in bed, but 9:30 lights out. In that half hour, she can have some free time of her own in her room.

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