i have met someone new and he has a 7yr boy who he still washes in the bath and a 13yr girl who he still puts to bed - he gets under the duvet with her to get her to sleep. she is yr 9 at school. is this not weird? i have a teenager and have not done this. please give honest opinion as this has really thrown me. thank you.
Ashley - posted on 10/28/2012
yes, it is very strange. i have 6, 8 and almost 2 year old boys. my 2 oldest wash themselves, although at times, i do have to go in and help my 6 year old because he doesnt wash like he should, even after being shown time and time again, but i dont always have to help him. my 2 year old even tries to wash himself. i have been working with him on washing his body and sometimes his hair, even though he is not old enough to do it all on his own and he is definatly not old enough to leave in the tub alone, but it never hurts to start teaching things young. as for bed, i always tuck them in, and so does thier father on the nights he is not at work. but we do not lay with them. we sit on the bed and read a book together, and then cover them up, give them kisses, tell them goodnight and we love them, and leave the room. i would be worried and asking lots of questions about laying in bed with them.
Denikka - posted on 10/26/2012
I would say that it's weird. But not unheard of.
I lived with my grandparents from age 6 until I moved out at 18. Up until I was about 15, my grandma used to come in when I was having a bath and help me wash my back. I had bad acne and had to use a special cleanser, but my skin is so sensitive that I couldn't use a loofah or anything but a soft wash cloth. I just couldn't reach all of my back with it.
There may be a reason he still bathes his son. I would ask if I was that concerned. At 7, my grandma would help me wash my hair. It was relaxing and bonding at the time, and never weird.
As for cuddling his daughter to sleep, also weird, but not unheard of.
I used to have horrible nightmares and because I have glasses (a very strong prescription) and a very active imagination, innocent things would terrify me. Once again, up until 15, I would have my grandma sit with me until I fell asleep. This was something that greatly embarrassed me and I would never have told anyone at the time, and I don't think I even ever told me grandma, until MUCH later, why I wanted her to stay with me every night.
My mom has 3 other kids, a girl and two boys, and frequently they have a movie night in her room, either with just one or all of them, and they end up falling asleep all together.
So. . .I wouldn't automatically jump to any negative conclusions. Maybe just ask him about it. Just mention that you don't do those things in your family, and were curious about his reasoning for doing them with his kids. If he starts acting weird about it or whatever, then I'd start worrying. But I think a lot of families do *weird* things like this, they just never talk about them because it's seen as being weird or * inappropriate* even when there's a reason or it's innocent.
Nikki - posted on 10/26/2012
Yeah that is very strange. Have you questioned why he does these things? I could possibly understand washing the 7 year old if he doesn't do a good enough job but the bedtime routine with the teenager is very unusual and would make me uncomfortable.
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