i have some questions?????

Martina - posted on 09/07/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I have a 10 year old son. I went to prison and so did there dad. They were living with there dads mom. I was on pain pills back then but i have went to impatirnt recovery and continue to do so every week. I have regained custody back of him and his brother. The circumstances on the gaining the custody back were not the way i would have liked to but i know my kids are angry with me. there grandma had started havign different relationships with men and and been getting angry and abusive with my 12 year old. they argrue all the time they both have ADHD and take medication in the am and pm. i have been taking them to therapy and i dont cuss at them or yell nor do i hit them but my ten year old is always crying and wants to stay glued to video games. hes very smart and in the gifted program. i started working a job this week and he has been being very aggressive and angry with the other children in the house like aggervating them for no reasons and he has started smearing poop on the bathroom walls and peeing in the grabage cans.. he also pees all over the toliet and leaves his bowels in the toilet foe someone else to see then laughs about it he has been making comments to my neice who lives in the home about penis and calling her curse words i have a appointment for the pysch doctor for his meds i believe he needs a mood stabilizer cause of the way he cant control his emotions and he crys over everything and says hes the victim in every situation i have witnessed him provoking the other children and will lie to my face he also lies about little things theres no need to lie about has anyone else expierenced something like this if so please help me to better understand how i can help him..today i made him sit and research on how human feces and animal feces to make you sick and do harm to the body.. todays my day off and he was mad cause i asked him to take a shower cause i worked late and he didnt take one while i was at work and was sleeping when i came in it was late. so this morning when he got out the shower i went in to clean up and he had pooped on the floor next to the cat liter bok and there was cat pooped smashed in my brush what elses can i do i have researched on a truma called RAD im thinking this may be it some of the sytoms match up but not all

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Lisa - posted on 09/16/2015

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I think you would make a great drug treatment specialist. With your own personal experience and training, you would be able to have the compassion and skills to impact the lives of others. I am so proud of you for making the changes necessary to move forward in your life.

Remember that children are resilient and they respond to respect and love and kindness. As you learn to ask forgiveness they inturn learn to forgive and ask for it themselves. It is something we have to demonstrate to them. It seems that you are doing a great job. Something that really helped me with parenting is learning their love languages...you can watch a short 1 minute video here: http://bit.ly/1LyCNcJ and then you can take the profile quiz for each of your children here: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/

Blessings mama!

Martina - posted on 09/08/2015

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thank you so much lisa.. i needed that just had to walk home from work cause have no car lol im working on that thow yes i believe in treatment for mental health im a recovery addict who wants to be a drug treatment specialist one day and i believe mental health counsling and therapy have been a big part of my recovery.. i had a rough childhood and was never happy. i was very angry and never knew why or how to treat it for once in my life i am happy and am grateful for the little things i dont mind working 40 to 50 hours a week to do what i have to do for me and my children i just hope they will forgive me one day and i know we will get threw this it just helps reaching out and getting support god is good thank you so much i really did need that

Lisa - posted on 09/08/2015

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Counseling would be a very good thing to do for him. Try to find out why he is doing these things and how he can heal from the trauma he experienced. I am sorry you are struggling mama. You are trying your best, I am glad you understand how to treat your children so as to not add to their trauma, but this is rough on you as well. I hope you can find treatment for your son. A professional would have the tools necessary to make a correct diagnosis. Hugs mama!

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