I have thrown my daughter out but now im regretting it.

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Marieanne - posted on 07/10/2014

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Thanks cathy your words are a great comfort.i have spoken to her and explained that her home is here and so are we but our priority at this moment is to protect our son who is 16 who she has borrowed alot of money from and verbally agreed to stay at home and pay him brother back in 14 mths not three years so she can run off and comit to moving in to rented accommodation with this unstable girl and relationship were are there commen sense,loyalty and connchancnce. Marieanne

Cathy - posted on 07/09/2014

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My son moved out at 18 and living with his girlfriend and her parents.I know as much as you try to tell them they don't want to listen.They are so in love that they don't want to see what there partner is doing to them whether they are using them for there money.They just have to learn on there own.My son would waste his money on her and when he needed money he would come to me.I would tell him I don't have any money to lend you.Because I know exactly where his money was going,I told him he needs to manage his money more carefully.He got mad but he needs to learn that we are not the bank and we have bills that we have to pay.He doesn't talk to us because of his girlfriend but that's okay,because soon he will get tired of her using him for his money and leave her.He doesn't deserve to be with someone like her but I can't make that my decision.Well your daughter will soon open up her eyes .Just hang in there,We all want are kids to do the right thing but it seems as they do the total opposite.

Marieanne - posted on 07/09/2014

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Thank you Shawn
It will have to be that waiting game wont it. But she borrowed money from her brother instead of paying finance interest for her car which she promised to pay. They will make it or break it soon I hope

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/08/2014

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I understand, my eldest has been on his own for over a year now, but I had to have the confidence in my parenting to know that I'd raised him adequately, and prepared him to handle life on his own.

If you have raised your daughter well, and given her the tools to succeed on her own, she'll be fine. We ALL had to learn how to live, how to budget, how to manage our own lives...She'll do fine.

If she DOES go into debt...well, then she can learn how to pay it off. We did it, right? If you spend all of your time worrying that she's going to fail, you're going to waste a lot of time that you could be enjoying in other ways. It doesn't mean you love her any less, it means you recognize her adult status and are ready for her to be that adult ;-)

Marieanne - posted on 07/08/2014

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Thank you shawn
I know if she gets in debt for this person I won't b able to bail her out. Also Im scard for her safty and her future as a parent you go to bed with the worry and you wake up with it and you really dont want them hurt

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/08/2014

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Your daughter is an adult. You've taught her, now you have to let her live, make mistakes, fall down, and pick herself up.

Marieanne - posted on 07/08/2014

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Hi and thanks for your reply. Our daughter is 18 and comes from a nice background and has loving care ring parents, she is working and has just brought herself a new car and wishes to leave home to find rented accommodation with her girlfriend who has money troubles because shes not working and does not get on with her own parents. Our daughter is paying her rent ,food, phone,intertanment. We as parents are so upset and disappointed that shes that shes giving up her future for someone who is in a desperate situation which is putting a strain on financial resorces we have not asked for rent at home because getting a car was essential because we live in the country. We feel that she is being used and would lead to credit cards and debt.We had endless discussions, disagreement for 6 months now we are at our wits end.i couldn't take any more and sit back to see her money dwindling. We have tried to show her and talk to her about the worning signs and avise her. She has stopped listening now. I threw her out hoping it would give her jolt and hope that she relizes with all this money waisting she would have a small deposit for a morgage for herself.we have found oit thst she is safe and is staying with a friend.we do love her very much and wish she sees sence

From a very conserned parent Marieanne

Grace - posted on 07/08/2014

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Just tell her you both needed space if she comes back you can talk about it. Why this happened and how to change it

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