I have two "soon to be" step sons. They get up in the middle of the night, sneak water then pee the bed.

Erica - posted on 11/28/2014 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My two step sons are 8 and 10. I love them dearly, don't get me wrong. I'm just not sure what to do... My fiance moved in with me about 8 months ago, his two sons are at our house every other weekend. I love having them around, and when they're not there it seems very quiet in our house. But when they are there, they drive me a little bit crazy. The most recent problem we've been having: They both will get up in the middle of the night and get something to drink. They will go back to bed and pee the bed. We make sure they get enough water and juice to drink through out the day, so its not like they are completely dehydrated or anything. We cut off water about an hour before bedtime. Remind them to use the bathroom before going to sleep, and yet they still insist on sneaking water (on occasion food) into their bedroom. Now obviously they are children, and they tend to forget that parents aren't entirely... stupid. So they will leave evidence of beverages in their room. Last night, not even half an hour after they were in bed, my fiance and I were painting our closet. I went to the kitchen to get some water and heard the boys playing in their room. I went to their room and Jesse had a bottle of orange pop in his bed. I went to get my fiance, and a short time later, he came back to our room and told me Collin had a cup of orange pop hidden beside the bed that I didn't see. So now, next time they're at our house, they're grounded. Which sucks, because it's harder to spend time with them when they aren't allowed to do anything. :( But what can we do? The boys know they will have an accident, yet they continue to sneak beverages into their room at night. We talked about locking up the cups at night, but my fiance is afraid to do that, in case the boys mother finds out and calls the state. He doesn't want to loose his rights to see them, and I don't either. But what can we do? My washer is getting a work out, and we're getting exhausted. Help?

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Ev - posted on 11/28/2014

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Erica, Dove has some sound advice there. There are protective coverings for mattresses that are sold at Walmart or Target stores and others if you look hard enough. Its a vinyl type material and keeps the mattresses from getting wet and smelling bad. Also teaching a child this age to do their own laundry is not a sin. My son at five was doing the carpet in his room with a vacuum cleaner. When he got older he learned to use the washer and dryer. He did not have a peeing the bed problem but he learned to do things for himself so even just for that reason alone its a good life lesson. As for the getting up and going to get a drink at night even at this age, I have to agree that leaving some water in their room might help take care of that. And you can not expect kids to remember every little thing you ask of them even if they are old enough to know better and at night if they are still half asleep they might not remember they should use the bathroom. As for the actual wet beds, I have some information for you. Normally a child learns to control their bladder and the muscles used when peeing by the time they do go to school both day and night. Sometimes there are kids who have no issues during the day but do so at night. Sometimes its because their bladders/muscles have not yet developed to the point that they can go to bed and wait until morning to go. So, maybe their organs used in this particular thing are not caught up with their bodies. It could also be another thing too that is medical that they should be seen by a doctor for. Sometimes going to their own doctor and sent to a specialist might help take care of the problem. I know of some people who were well into their teen that still had this problem and it took a lot of doing to fix it. Could some of this be a reaction to the relationship with their dad that you have? Its a thought.

Dove - posted on 11/28/2014

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They shouldn't be withheld from water at night if they want a drink. So what if they will pee the bed? Get them in the big pull ups... or protect the mattress and make them do the laundry that it causes.

Sneaking soda at night is not OK, but maybe if they were provided w/ cups of water in the room at night they would stop sneaking things.

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Dove - posted on 11/28/2014

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And there's certainly nothing wrong w/ them doing their own laundry. My oldest was helping w/ laundry by 6 and doing it solo by 10.

Dove - posted on 11/28/2014

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Some kids are dry through the night by 2... some wet the bed into their teens. This isn't a new thing. I'm almost 40 and a family friend's daughter when I was a kid was a teenager and still wetting at night. It's always been that way.

Up until 8 is normal (meaning absolutely nothing wrong) for many, many kids. Older than that and they may need to be checked out by a doctor... but it could still be nothing medical. It could be emotional/behavioral... which if they are sneaking soda and food at night could very well be connected...

Family counseling might be an excellent idea... for the boys, you, and both of their parents.

Erica - posted on 11/28/2014

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I don't currently have children of my own. So maybe I'm slightly behind on the latest info on raising children... But isn't 10 years old a little too old to be having accidents in bed? Also, I should have made it a point to say, it's not me that's keeping them away from drinking at night. There mom (who they live with full time) is trying to get them to stop wetting the bed. We are going off what she asks. I mean they are getting to the age that they want to spend the night with friends and stuff. They've been told if they absolutely need water in the middle of the night they need to go to the bathroom before going back to bed, and the way our house is set up, the bathroom door is about a foot from their bedroom door, and they have to pass it to get to the kitchen, and to get back to their bed. But for what ever reason, they wont. They have night lights in the bathroom, so they can see without turning bright lights on and everything. I appreciate your feed back... I guess I'm looking for advice on how to approach the situation differently but still going along with what their mother is doing as well. Also... I don't think they know how to do laundry... N if I teach them at my house, but they don't have the same consensuses at their mothers house... Will it help?

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