I hope I can be accepted here

Will - posted on 08/23/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Hi all, This is my first time looking to the Internet for support in my situation! I'm not a mom, sorry, but I am a happily married husband. My wife is a cancer survivor and I love her personality, she makes me laugh and is a happy person. We met in a improv comedy club at college and dated for a year and a half before getting married, so I feel like I know her quite well. It struck me as impressive that she was so happy having survived getting cancer at 15 yrs old and she was in a college program to be a teacher, seemed responsible enough, etc. About a year ago we left her small home town to do summer sales across the country in KY, which I loved, however she was so homesick, depressed not being able to see family, not having anything to do, that we quit and came back. Thing is, that was my best job prospect with a great friend of mine and I haven't been able to find anything here. We live in a college town but there's not a lot of jobs. About 8 months ago she crashed the car, it was a one person car accident with no other persons involved, I am just glad she is ok and our car is still drivable, but basically we've determined it isn't safe for her to drive because of her ADD and the possible danger to others and herself on the road. She had a few minor car accidents before this but I always thought it was no big deal. So now I've graduated with my four year degree, and she has 2 more years on her degree to become a teacher. We live a 15 min drive away from college and I can't get a job because I have to be the one helping her out & driving her to school and back. She's not so self-reliant that I could just drop her off at 6:30 in the morning and pick her up at 5:30pm at night. She wouldn't be happy with that arrangement. I never saw her as disabled before, I mean everybody has different challenges. Life wasn't supposed to be like this, I guess I just need to vent and find people in similar situations so I can get support. Our church has some nice people but hardly any young couples at all, at least none we've been able to click with so far. All my buddies from sales are moving on with their lives, moving on to better jobs, living where they want to live, raising kids. I just want more fullness to my life. What do you suggest? Is there any support groups in Eastern Idaho for spouses of disabled persons? Thanks for listening to my rant!

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Chet - posted on 08/24/2013

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Wow. That's a lot. Are you saying that you are essentially your wife's caregiver and are with her all day when she's at school? Does the school not have supports for students with disabilities? I realise that your issue is more complicated than just that, but I want to make sure I understand fully.

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