I just came from Steptalk.org. Anyone else?

[deleted account] ( 11 moms have responded )

I can't believe the blogs I was reading. Some of them were literally emotionally abusing their stepchildren. Please tell me this site is different.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Katie - posted on 02/21/2015

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The site is meant for stepparents to vent. I'm sure none would actually hurt the children. As you know step parenting is harder than bio parenting.especially when those step kids become adults and are still sucking your life savings because they refuse to get a job and feel they are entitled.

I think this meme describes most step kids to a T. And is what annoys stepmoms who are bio moms.


https://imgflip.com/i/hm70n

[deleted account]

Thanks!
There were some helpful posts but lots of times, I can't believe how horrible some of them treated their small stepkids. One had a husband that had an affair with the sons biomother before & after their marriage. Now the stepmom just takes it out on the child--and couldn't believe how others condoned that. Very very sad.

Are there many stepmom's on this site?

Redragdoll21 - posted on 06/23/2013

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I stumbled upon this group today. No joke it was like a step into heaven to read some of these stories to find out I'm NOT alone.

Jodi - posted on 06/21/2013

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I'm a stepmum to two children and mum to two children. We have a bit of a complicated blended family - one of my kids is also from a previous marriage. So we have his, mine and ours, and every child in this home is treated equally (taking into account age differences etc - our oldest is now 21).

I think what you are describing is incredibly sad. The children in these situations aren't the ones who had any choice in the matter. It is so wrong to take it out on the kids. Believe me, I will defend the children every single time. The adults need to grow up.

Michelle - posted on 06/21/2013

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There are a lot of step mothers here. If you hover over the communities tab at the top, a drop down list will appear. You can then select join communities and search for communities that suit you. They are in alphabetical order.

I hope you enjoy it here.

11 Comments

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VA - posted on 08/17/2017

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emotional abuse aside.... much of the advice they give can be quite good.

When you're being treated like crap by a child... the child might have emotional issues they need to work with, sure... but at the same time, nobody should be treated like crap. Generally, most of the kids treating their SM like crap are already having behavioral issues... and it's generally a case of the SM trying to help address the behaviors.

The best thing I've gotten off that site is disengagement - but you're not disengaging from the child, you're disengaging from the parental responsibilities. The child has 2 parents...and WILL resent a step parent try to parent them. When the parent doesn't make it clear to the child that SM has just as much authority as dad, or that SD has just as much authority as mom, hell ensues.

I have a great relationship now and an awesome dynamic with my ss - because I don't try to mother him. I give him motherly attention, I treat him like my own in terms of nurturing... but as far as raising him, I've disengaged - that's up to dad. It's not my responsibility, though I will support him.

That said...steptalk.org is a nasty place. The members on there are just b!tches and amuse themselves on tearing down others. The admins should be ashamed of themselves, because steptalk.org has the reputation across the web of being a vile site... and I can confirm that. 3 years is enough for me, I'm done.

[deleted account]

I agree. I have suggested to some women, not married yet, to just run in the other direction. It is tough. It's even tougher with a controlling biomother. HOWEVER, it is part of the "for better or for worse". It is what it is. And no amount of covering up ones tracks will work. You simply have to see the child objectively as you see you husband objectively (or at least try to). His child is part of him just as much my child is part of me. You cannot throw people or children to the side.

[deleted account]

I agree. I think that's why I was so disillusioned. I have an incredibly hard step teen & the bio mother is a nightmare. Nonetheless, he still needs to be understood. He needs to still know his mother--how she chooses to show herself is on her but not to alienate her or him. Thanks so much for your post. I was starting to think I was in the minority here :)

Firebird - posted on 06/21/2013

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Oh my, I'm looking at that site right now. Never heard of it before. That is horrible! I assure you, Circle of Moms is nothing like that. There will, on occasion, be an unpleasant post, but nothing like Steptalk.

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