I just don't know what to do. Help please?

Kat - posted on 05/10/2011 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My five year old daughter started kindergarten this year and at first she was having problems, but she's been doing really great now. Now, I'm at my wits end for another reason. There is a child in her class who is a bully. He flips over tables, he flips over chairs, he picks on every child in the class, he's cut two of her shirts with scissors, he's colored on her shoes, and now the other day he poked holes in her backpack. This child is constantly misbehaving and all the teacher can do is move his clip and send him to the Principal's but yet the next day he's at it again. I am so fed up with it because everyday my daughter comes home and tells me about what this other child does. Kindergarten Graduation is May 31st so school is almost over and we are moving at the end of this year so I'm not sure if I should say anything about my feelings or not. It's so bad that I send my child to school and the whole day I'm left to think what's going to happen today in class. But I'm just really at my wits end and I have no idea what I can do about this...so any help from another mom who has maybe dealt with a bully in school would be wonderful...

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Kat - posted on 05/11/2011

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Thank you all for replies, and first let me say I too believe the child may have some underlying issues going on just because of his age and it may have been wrong of me to label him a "bully" so I apoligze for that. I spoke with my daughter's teacher after the backpack got poked with holes and she told me the school is in contact with the family of the child due to previous behavior from this child. She told me other then sending the child to the Principal's and informing the parents of his behavior that day there is not much else she can do on her end. I was happy to hear that the family had been contacted because I really do feel this child is troubled and hopefully the family will see that and seek help out for him.... Yesterday my daughter went to class and nothing happened to her and I told her if this child does anything to her she needs to report it to her teacher. I hope now that since the school is in contact with the boys family that things will get better and if they do not then I will be setting up a meeting and figuring out what the school is doing to not only protect my child but also help the boy get passed this behavior

Shelly - posted on 05/10/2011

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Keep expressing your concerns... I really don't understand the basis behind letting a child bully other children, destroy personal property as well a be disruptive... In the real world these are all things that get us into jail, court and with no friends. This child is being taught that it is ok... I would get the authorities involved especially if he is ruining your daughter's clothing... someone should pay for hte ruined clothes. Maybe if you take that sort of action the school will realize how ridiculous the behavior has become. There are a few similar children in my daughter's 3rd grade class but the teacher is very strict with them... Due to budget cuts there are no special classes for these kids and I thnk that is sad because ulitimatley it is detrimental for them. My daughter does not like these kids when their behavior issues give the little choice to act out the way they do in a normal learning environment. Ok I am done with my rant I wish you and your daughter the best along with the bully who for some reason, be it home life or emotions syndrome, is unable to act appropriately.

User - posted on 05/10/2011

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It sounds to me like " the bully" as we all seem so keen to label him, is a very troubled child. As he is so young, I suspect the school is in the process of assessing him, so that they can work out how best to address his needs, as it should be clear to them that his behaviour is unacceptable.

It's important that your child feels secure at school, so you should talk to the teacher about it. I would let the school speak with his parents. In fact they should already have done so.

Stephanie - posted on 05/10/2011

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Heck yes you should say something, that is your baby girl and you need to protect her! You should set up a meeting with the boys mom and dad and the teacher or principal! Something needs to be done about that little boy.

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 05/10/2011

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Defiantly set up a meeting with the teachers and get his parents involved as well!! ASAP

Jennifer - posted on 05/10/2011

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I agree with Michelle that you should have a meeting with the teacher(s), principal(s) and anyone else who could help (i.e. school counselor)...maybe even have the bully's parents involved in a separate meeting from yours as well. I know that when my oldest was playing on the playground and grabbed a boy's hoodie and ripped it, I offered to replace it. I think the same offer should be expected from the bully's parents for the replacement of the clothes, shoes and backpack that were damaged. Luckily, the school year is nearly out, but letting it go is not a good solution as this will likely progress in the first grade (who knows, maybe he'll have a different teacher, but if not it would be better to have his behavior documented in case he needs to be removed entirely). Good luck! Have a great Kindergarten Graduation!

Michelle - posted on 05/10/2011

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Based on what you have explained I am going to guess that this bully has some underlying issues and most likely should have a teachers aide. That being said that does not excuse his behavior I have one of those kids that needed the aide he got one and my son is and was for the most part a very well behaved child. As a parent I would definitely go to the school and voice my concerns and make sure the teachers the principal know the extent of the bullying that is going on as they maybe don't know how bad he is being. Also it shows your daughter that you are listening to her concerns and making an effort to make the rest of her school year better. As the parent of the bully I am sure they don't know the extent of his behavior and the school needs to talk with them to fix this issue now in Kindergarten before it gets out of hand and gets violent

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