[deleted account] ( 3 moms have responded )
I recently had a memory of something that I suppressed for 23yrs.
When I was 23 I had become pregnant. At the time, there was a question of if it was my exboyfriend's or my new boyfriend's of 2 months...I was 2 months pregnant when I found out. Although the 2 relationships did not overlap, I know that the doctors give you the best guesstimate of how far along you are - give or take. I never shared with my new boyfriend that it may be the ex's and the ex bf just thought I had been cheating on him when we were still together (which I wasn't). I shared this secret with one person (my best friend). When I had my daughter, she looked exactly like me. So I was relieved, no one was the wiser and I never thought about it again, until about 6 months ago. While doing some step work, the memory came back to me of the fact that there was a question of who was the dad. I was horrified.
I did some research and found out I could do a sibling DNA test to see if my 2 children (I had a son 3 yrs later) are full or 1/2 siblings, with out them even knowing. Why get them involved if my ex husband is both of their dads. One of the items that you can test for DNA is a toothbrush. I ordered the test and sent it in. Just got the results back 3 days ago, and they are 1/2 siblings vs full siblings. Again, I am still absorbing this info - certainly do not want to be the source of any hurt or confusion in my childrens life. Her dad who raised her will always be her dad.
I am doing nothing for now, started seeing a therapist but have only had one appt so we haven't gotten very far. My kids are amazing, I got divorced when they were 5 & 8 years old, took care of them, loved and nurtured them, and we have an amazing relationship. Their dad is involved in their lives and has been since the divorce.He and I are amicable. My daughter went to college and graduated nursing school and my son is in his second year of college. They are 22 and 19 years old. I am so very proud of them and they are everything to me.
I would love to hear any advise from parents, and kids, who may have experienced something similar.