I just really want to get this off my chest

Tracy - posted on 04/19/2016 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I'm a 20 year old woman (obviously) who's overweight and I still live at home. I have a pretty steady job, I clean the house, take care of the chores, and take care of my one brother (21, I'll refer to him as R) who has cerebral palsy. My father is massively overweight so he can't take care of his son, my brother, R. He can barely leave his room most times and will actually usually leave it by rolling around in his wheely office chair. It had just been the 3 of us for quite a long while and though it was rough, it wasn't nearly as bad as it is now. I've always had a problem with socializing, I have anger issues, depression, ect. I just have a lot wrong with me. Anyway, so firstly my mum moved into the house and she didnt do much of anything really, so I'll skip her. She's not an important piece in my life since she abandoned us. Almost as soon as she moved out, my eldest brother (25, I'll call him Mutt as I do in RL) begged my dad to let him and his gf move in. He supposedly had a house, but it was a part of housing and he let it go. Mostly cause he had some friends staying over and they basically took over the house. Though Mutt tries to play off as so tough, he's a coward. So my dad asks me if he should let them move back in and I said, "In my opinion, NO. But that's up to you." Because I KNOW my opinion doesnt really matter to him. Even thou I make most of the house income and pay all the bills and everything. So my dad lets the Mutt and his gf move into the house on the condition that they'd contribute and everything..... It's now been over 6 months and thou she gets SSI, they've contributed NOTHING. You'd think they'd contribute by buying food for the house, or doing chores. NOPE!! You practically have to twist arms to get them to do anything and they do buy food..... FOR THEMSELVES!! Like, if I were to order food, I'd buy for everyone. They do not. They make a mess and just leave it. She puts empty gallons on the dryer even though I told her to throw it out. They dont even rinse out the things they use!! Whenever I try to yell at them or get my dad to yell at them, I get yelled at for "trying to start a fight" or something and he'll yell at me to "pack my bags, and get the fuck out". It even just happened because my nephew broke through one windows' screen. Mutt had supposedly fixed the screen but it looked like he didnt do a good job. SO I told my dad and you know what he said, "Why don't you just pack your bags, and get the fuck out. Just get out." When Mutt started a fight with me once, he actually tried to beat me down, literally, by punching me a few times. And what did our father do, you ask? Nothing! Absolutely nothing! Because Mutt told him that I started the fight even though he started and our father saw it. EVERYONE knows how abusive my brother is! So they know I'm telling the truth, but no one does anything. Then they (Mutt and Slut) go into my office room whenever they want, take shit, and still say that they never took anything. They stole my fuckin BEDROOM!! and my bed!! That's how disgusting they are! I'm just so sick of this! I've been putting up with it for over 10 years! I feel like its driving me insane and I've had suicidal thoughts thanks to him! I mean, I'd never go through with it, but still. I'm sorry, I just really needed to get this out. I just.... I feel like Im losing my mind, and I wanna break down and cry, but I cant right now....

Update: I should have mentioned this but I didnt think of it. My job is I get paid for a few of the many hours that I take care of my brother that has CP.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Dove - posted on 04/19/2016

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Why not call social services to find better care for your one brother and move out? If they get involved and you are not there to take care of everything... they will find a better place for him and you can visit and help care for him out of that house.

If you are paying for just about everything w/ that many people... you'd likely be thriving on your own.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/19/2016

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ok, so if you are earning enough to pay for everything for your deadbeat family, why are you not on your own?

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Sarah - posted on 04/19/2016

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Dove is right, a 21 yo brother with CP will qualify for care in a group home. That may be a great place for him. He can get his physical and hygiene needs met and also socialize with his peers. Great idea!

Sarah - posted on 04/19/2016

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You have a couple options IMO:
Move out. I now you love and care for your brother; but he is not your child and dad can get off his rear and care for him with the help of an in house aide. That may sound harsh but your dad does not honor your feelings so you are sorta painted into a corner.
Reclaim you room; while the are out, move them out and put a key lock and deadbolt on the door. It was your room. That may not be worth the effort, but where are you sleeping and grooming currently?
Who actually owns the home.
Cut of the food supple to the non-contributing adults. Stop ordering for them, but only enough for yourself and whom you want to feed.
I do think you will be happiest if you move. Your brother will be ok, you can stop by everyday to see him and bathe/feed/ visit him. The sooner you take control the better you will feel. Keep venting and in let us know what you are thinking.

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