I keep my 2 year old's door closed at bed/nap time to keep her safe but I feel bad. Do other Mom's do this?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Wendy - posted on 10/27/2011

285

29

59

actually girls you are right to close childrens bedroom doors anytime children are in there sleeping....fire safety... sucks to think about but if a fire breaks out in house there lungs are faster effected.. so door closed is a barrier and time......

Christina - posted on 10/27/2011

70

56

10

Thanks!! I can certainly understand and agree with that last sentence for sure. I guess I want my children to feel like the whole house (their home) is their safe haven not just their room. I give my children respect and privacy and see your point which it is “their” room that I am invading with bad mojo  I did with my babies, because under 2 they are not going to sit in TO anyway and I’m not going to run all over the house chasing them or sit on top of them. The crib is a safe spot and I’m sure they don’t even remember that. Now that he has turned 2 he is in a chair in the hallway off of the living room! There is nothing at all but a white wall in there. I don’t have eyes on him every second; I don’t feel their punishment should be in front of anyone but themselves. I use it more as a reflection time for them to think about what they’ve done…well as much as a 2yr old can in 2 minutes lol. Between the ages of 5-12 (kindergarten – middle school is such a trial and error period for kids and parents. I feel too much is wrapped up in worrying so much about what they think & feel. I can understand in children that come from abused homes & such and I think that’s were a lot of this stuff generates from and then gets translated to other ppl in different ways. For healthy kids in healthy families I don’t think such trivial things like that matter to be honest with you (in my opinion). I want my kids to learn right from wrong and that my job to teach them.

My oldest is different…keep in mind if I could say any child in the world is perfect…it would be my oldest. He is as close as it gets so it’s rare that I have to punish him or time him out anymore….but things and people certainly do change. We’ve actually talked changing his to a more age appropriate punishment (which he agrees). I have an open communication with my son and he has never indicated to me either way on how he feels about his room, but I’ve never asked him either (I will this weekend) He loves his room and the privacy & respect I give him and gives me the same in return.Thank you for your input, you’ve giving me something to research …..
Thanks Again :)

Christina - posted on 10/26/2011

70

56

10

@ Marina Noone said anything about locking a child in their room? I gave an example of what my mother did...but lol -- she was a terrible parent!! I do have a video monitor in there so I can see & hear him at all times. I do agree with you as far as they should not be in there for extended periods of times...that is not ok (in my book anyway) However not to punish him to his room??? C'mon..punishment is punishment...it shouldnt be about how they "feel" about it. I respect your choice, but whats the difference in punishing him to the "common" area...wont he get "ill" feelings about that room too? I dont get it? I use punishment rarely & you can beleive it is for something major that I wont tolorate (hitting, biting, swearing etc..). My kids KNOW when they are being punished and they know when they are being loved. There are no "nice" feelings about punishment. I am quick & to the point with them. No books, no games...nothing! Its on your bed reflecting the bad choice they made & depending on the severity of the issue my older son (13) can write about it in a journal (or an apology letter to someone) but thats as far as that goes! I will talk to them after the punishment to hear what they have to say about it, make sure it sunk in & understand the whole point of being disrespectful or whatever...learning from their mistake. That's it...then we go back to normal bussiness, no hard feeling on either side.Worring about what my childs feelings are when Im punishing him for his bad choices is not on my priority list. He should have worried about my feelings or how "ill" myself or whoever they wronged were gonna be about the choices they made!

Thanks

Sharlene - posted on 10/26/2011

3,896

241

825

Hi .I agreed with Marina. they should a punishment chair or cornerbut if there much kids like mine two grounding them and taking out there toys.Cheers

~♥Little Miss - posted on 10/26/2011

21,273

9

3058

As far as closing your kids door during time out, they should not be in there room as a punishment. First off, they can just play, secondly it can create ill feelings about there room...when they are in trouble, they get sent to the room. See? It should be a neutral area of the house.

25 Comments

View replies by

Leanna - posted on 11/25/2011

70

0

1

If you confine your child to his/her room as punishment the child will associate the bedroom with bad things and that will cause separation anxiety.

Melissa - posted on 10/27/2011

41

0

6

Thanks everyone! I was just second guessing myself after a coworker who hasn't raised a baby told me I was keeping her like a prisoner in her room lol

Jamie - posted on 10/27/2011

63

2

3

@ Marina. Thanks for your advice. I went through a divorce awhile back and put my kids in child therapy. I am now happily married to a man who is compatible with me. I've learned that different scenarios work for different kids. I've tried the chair thing and time out in the kitchen, and hallway, and corner, and living room, and laundry room etc. I have tried it all. However, the bedroom works best for my kids. They don't hate their room. They don't have a hard time sleeping in their room. They don't have night terrors from being in there. They don't pee the bed from being in there. They still love it. So, I think we have beat the statistics :) haha. They love playing in their room regardless that they have to go to their room for time out. Time outs are short here. Long enough to get the point across. We let them know when we get them out of time out how much we love them and that it is not okay how they acted. I think that is the MOST important thing when a kid gets out of time out. Let them know how much you love them. It makes a huge diff for us anyway. So, thanks for your advice. I've heard that before. But, it works best for us the way we do it now, so we will continue to do what works for us regardless of the "statistics." I'm an amazing Momma, so I know that what I choose to do will work just fine for me and my family. Not one set thing works for every child and family. Thanks though.

Michele - posted on 10/27/2011

4

9

0

My son is 4 and I've always closed his door for naps and bedtime. I have two baby monitors (still) so if he wakes up I'll know. It just blocks out noise and lights.

Christina - posted on 10/27/2011

69

0

5

i have a 4 month old and we always close the door for nap time and for at night. we have it closed for the cat reason and dog reason. they are both cuddly and noise makers.
she is too small for them to cuddle with.
ps. we have a great Dane so he can actually get in the crib. he has tried. lol

~♥Little Miss - posted on 10/27/2011

21,273

9

3058

I apologize for my tone, I definitely got the same tone reading from you, but since you did not intend that to come across, I am sorry. Jaimie's comment is actually what triggered my original comment about time puts in bedrooms.

Ok, so it has been a while since I did the research, but it was something along the lines of, when they are in a general space (I use the wall space between 2 doors) I can keep an eye on him and make sure he is not playing and getting distracted away from the reason he is IN time out. When you are in trouble, and constantly sent to your room, it can give a bad feeling towards your room....the one place in the home that is actually suppose to be solely the childs safe haven. So, if you start making the room punishment space, it is not longer their room. And when they go there to play, do homework,. hang out, it is not just gonna be safe fun alone space.....it can make for bad associations.

When I was a kid, I shared a room with my sister. Whenever we were punished, we were sent to our room. I had terrible nightmares as a child, and as an adult reflecting on that, I often wonder if it had anything to do with being punished in my room. It might be a stretch, I just want my kids rooms to be theirs, not punishment space.

Christina - posted on 10/27/2011

70

56

10

Why so hostle Marina? I said I respect your choice everyone is different and were all here to learn how different people do things. Im not here to argue with anyone and apologize if you felt that in my comment. I was just speaking my opinion about it as well. I directed my question to you because nobody but me (in an example) had brought up "locking" , but I suppose if you didnt read my comment and If you were speaking in general then good point!! :) The question I was asking you in paticular because you brought it up.....whats the difference in rooms you choose to punish in? SInce you have done more research than myself, maybe you can answer that for me and change my opinion about it, because that part confuses me. If their going to have ill feelings than wouldnt they have those feelings in any room you choose to reprimand them in? Wouldnt they have more options to be visualy/mentally stimualted by such things as TV in the common area?



Thanks!! :)

Elfrieda - posted on 10/27/2011

2,620

0

462

I always close the door when my 22 month old is sleeping. I don't want him to wake up if I make noise! I turn on the humidifier or fan (depending on the season) and close the door when I leave him to nap or sleep for the night.



Right before I go to sleep, my husband or I sneak up and put his blanket back on him, open the door for the night, and go to bed ourselves. I insist on this because we sleep on the main floor and my son sleeps upstairs, and I want to make sure I hear him if he wakes up in the night.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 10/27/2011

21,273

9

3058

Christina, I have my opinions, and you have yours. You want to punish your kids in their room, that is your business. I was responding to Jamie, I did not even read YOUR comments... I gave an example of my sister, and how terrible she is. I have researched a lot on time outs, and they all say the same thing...NOT in their rooms. LOCKING them in their room is a whole new level of bad. I never said you did that, I was saying in general how bad that is.

Sharon - posted on 10/26/2011

840

22

154

We have a 6mth old and almost 2yr old, their doors are always shut during nap times or at night time....actually their doors are shut all day/night long. We have a cat that likes to snuggle so we've just always kept them closed for our peace of mind. Our eldest can open doors easily, but also knows to close them when he's finished. We have a video monitor in both of their rooms so can see & hear everything that's going on.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 10/26/2011

21,273

9

3058

Locking a child in their room is different than putting them down for a nap and closing the door. My sister used to have an eyelet lock on the outside of her kids door, and she would just put him in there when she would take a shower, when he was "bad" or just when she felt like it. THAT is wrong.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 10/26/2011

21,273

9

3058

Of course I do. But also to block out the noise from the rest of the house.

Christina - posted on 10/26/2011

70

56

10

@Jamie -- Oh..Im soo sorry!! Ive done that too...My time out's are only 1 min per age -- so My 2yr old is only in time out for 2min max & yes I have closed the door when I timed him out in his crib because he pitches a fit for the whole 2 min!! lol -- I have sence put him in his toddler bed, so now time out is in a chair in the livingroom hallway. But I was meaning for long periods of time, or just because! Ex: My mother used to lock us kids in our room for hours to go drink or locked us in there till the next day cause we made her mad for whatever?? :( sad...I know, but thats what I meant by confinment or punishment!! Sorry.....!!

Sharlene - posted on 10/26/2011

3,896

241

825

Hi . I dont see any harm in doing that just as long you check on her.LOL a little girl always needs plenty sleep.Cheers

Lisa - posted on 10/26/2011

162

24

26

We close the door at nap time. Baby gate at night. Big brother is too noisy to leave the door open during the day. It is fine

Melissa - posted on 10/26/2011

41

0

6

I have one of those doorknob thingies on her door so she can't open it otherwise she'd be all over the house. Plus her bedroom door is right infront of a huge staircase so it makes me feel better at night

Jamie - posted on 10/26/2011

63

2

3

When I put my kids in time out I close the door. Am I wrong for that? I just saw a comment on here about not closing the door for punishment. I don't think it's wrong to shut the door when they're in time out. So long as you don't do time out for long periods at a time.

Medic - posted on 10/26/2011

3,922

19

552

My kids sleep with their door shut and they are 5 and 21 months. We just do it to keep the noise from waking them up but neither one seems to care.

Christina - posted on 10/26/2011

70

56

10

Yes!! Your fine! As long as your not using it as punsihment or confinement while she awake your fine! I do this all the time! :)

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms