Mel - posted on 02/10/2016 ( 20 moms have responded )
My 23 year old son has never treated me well. He busted my mouth at least once a week from the time he was 16 until the time he was 19. In order for him to complete high school, I drove from Houston, through four different cities, for him to attend a school in which it was much easier for him to "get by." On the way back, every morning, I caught rush hour traffic in each of these 4 cities. The round-trip, every morning, was 3 1/2 hours. That afternoon? I did it all over again. I did that for 5 months. After that? I paid for summer school.
My son is a liar by nature. His biological father is the same way. It's a strong argument for heredity. The drug addiction? That's just extra fun.
Recently, he was arrested for possession of a controlled substance, meth. I bonded him out and hired his attorney. While he assured me he was going to pay me back for his attorney, I have never seen a nickel; I never will. His arrest and subsequent probation hasn't slowed him down a bit. He disappeared for as much as a week, sometimes, often coming back high out of his mind. It often takes a day or three for him to "come down."
His attorney told him to get a job, immediately. This was to give him a bit more to work with in court. You see, the attorney managed to get his charge knocked down to a lesser degree. My son got a job at a restaurant very close to my home. He has developed a work ethic, at least. He's realized he can do a lot more speed, when he has money.
He's often gone during holidays, because he knows it hurts me. In December, he came in at 5 am. He'd been gone for several days. He was so very high, he couldn't put an intelligible sentence together. He didn't seem to realize he was speaking gibberish. He did, however, seem to understand me when I told him so. I suggested he try a single word. That, too, was beyond him. Several hours later, He barged into my room. He wanted the keys to my truck. He said it was to go to work. I refused. "Why?! Why won't you give me the keys to the f*&^ing truck?!" I told him I wouldn't give him the keys because a mere three hours before he was unable to speak. He snatched the keys off my desk, without me realizing it. He stole my truck and wrecked it in a drug area that is more than 20 miles from his job. He bent the frame, so even after a $2,700.00 repair, the truck will never be the same. It's just as well. The first 10 days I allowed him to drive it, he burned the seats up, allowing cigarettes to burn their full length on the seats - more than one. The passenger's door won't even open and close anymore. You see, the $2,700 didn't include body work.
He knew he wasn't to smoke inside the house. He didn't in front of me, letting me know he is grown and he can smoke wherever he likes. It's his room, he said, and he is grown. The filth in that room is unbelievable. it seems he didn't bother with an ashtray and just used the wood floor. I don't know is the liquid was poured to put out a fire, or if he'd just spilled it. The floor in that room has about an eighth of an inch of solid sludge; it's ashes, tobacco, and some type of syrup.
I've told him year after year that I will not continue to take his abuse. I mean it. Last night, he punched the door to his bedroom over and again until he broke the upper right quarter of the door off. He had a girl in there and he was chest bumping me, threatening me, claiming I beat him as a child. (I have hit him one time - in his life. He was 15, and he called me a whore. I reacted before I could stop myself.) "I'll beat you down, now, B*&^%!!!" he kept screaming, nose to nose, in my face. He had me pressed up against the wall at the top of the stairs. He said he was going to knock me down the stairs.
He walks into my home and won't even stop walking as he enters. It doesn't matter that I may be speaking to him. I asked to speak with him last night. When he closed the door in my face, I continued to speak through the door. That was his justification for damaging the property and for pinning me against the wall and threatening me. I dialed 911. I hung up, but they called me back. I told them there was no need, but they dropped by anyway. My son heard the conversation with the police, so he was gone before they arrived. (He's on probation.)
My son isn't, and has never been, adhering to the stipulations of his probation. I've warned him they won't say anything to him, they will allow him to continue to pay the fees, and they will then revoke him. This is the perfect opportunity for him. He will say he went to prison because I put him out.
I still love my son, but I feel strangely detached.