Cindy - posted on 04/29/2009 ( 21 moms have responded )
First I will say that I have asked 1 question so far, and the feed-back was great and helpful! Now, I need more advise pleazzze!! I am a mom of 4, 3 belonging to me, 1 who is my step-son. ages: 9, 6, 2, 14months. It seems My spouse thinks, that even if a meteor would hit, I should take out the vaccum and start cleaning the debris. I have no sitter, as he believes since I am @ home, it is a waste of money. I have no family support, as I was given away by 14 yrs of age, and I have moved many times to accomadate my spouses need for greed(money) Now, I know we need money to survive, even more so since we are a large family. But, to him money is more important than anything. Since I do not share the same value, and he knows family is the most important thing to me, he has placed everything on my plate. I must shop with 4 kids, cook 2 suppers, 1 for the children, and another for him once he is done work, which is late at night. He sees no need for a stich of clothes to be dirty, he constantly berates me if something he wants is not done, and if a crumb were to be infront of him, than I get the look of "well what the hell did you do all day?" This is a huge issue, but now I have his counterpart, his Mother! She actually believes that I should make him speacial homecook meals every night, iron his pants and tops every night, go too bed when he does and wake up earlier to have his coffe and breakfeast ready each morning. I told her, some things I do, to try to show my spouse I love him, such as if he is in the shower, I will place his towel and clothing in the dryer so they are toasty and warm for when he gets out. She replied by saying it was "my job" I told my 9yr old to not change his clothing 4 times a day, as there was no need for it, and it only created more laundry for nothin, she retorted by saying "Well, it is your job as a mom, I did it for my 2 boys" and she said it while her son was next too her, and my son was standing there!! Now my 9yr old has taken to saying the same thing..."it's your job" My god!! I want to scream, I want to tell her to get the hell out!! She had 2 boys, I have 4 and 2 are babies, 1 is speacial needs, and the other is my step-son! I would love some advice to know how to deal with this, how do I get my spouse to stop treating me like I am easily replaced, and not good-enough, how do I ween him of his Mother's pre-historic way of thinking, and how can I get her to back off without jeapordizing the relationship with the grand-kid? It seems noone cares if I am drained, or tired or upset, I have been told to "suck-it up". arggggggggg enough is enough, I would love some feed-back..cause Im about to throw in the towel!!!