Eli - posted on 01/04/2013 ( 5 moms have responded )
I live with my mom right now and my toddler son. Just so you know I'm not a freeloader, I pay half of everything and am going to school, it's just financially difficult to live on my own.
My issue is my mom is always acting like I'm an idiot when it comes to my son, and will never listen to me. She gives me dirty looks when she thinks I'm doing something 'awful' to my son, and honestly I don't think I'm doing anything wrong.
For example today we decided to go to a movie and got sitter, it was in the afternoon, so when we got home he had never taken a nap (he usually doesn't with other people) and was really tired and ending up getting cranky. Of course she decided to do work, right in the living room, and I was supposed to keep him away from her. Then I made him supper and had it out but he kept screaming NO NOOO no dinner!! So I finally managed to get him over but he was still yelling and refused to get in his high chair so I put him down and said ok, well you tell me when you're ready, and of course my mom yells at me to just put him in the chair, and grumbling because I'm not keeping him from screaming, and it's like what am I supposed to do? Shove him in the chair and force him to eat? Yeah 'cause that works with a screaming toddler.
And it goes on and on. I try to make sure he puts all his toys away by himself, without me helping him put everything away, and I've told her this MULTIPLE TIMES and of course, she picks it up right in front of me, or starts helping him after I've refused to help him (so she looks like the nice one and I look like a meanie). One time he was yelling because I hung up something and he didn't want it hung up (for no reason of course) and I didn't even know what he was screaming about and was trying to explain that there's nothing wrong with having it hang there and she comes downstairs and is like 'why are you letting him scream like this? I'm trying to work' and moves the thing for him. And of course he actually gave a little comment like 'she moved it'. When I try to get him to do things now he starts yelling for her over and over. Not because she always lets him do what he wants but it happens enough that he'll try to get at her.
I make a rule and she blatently disregards it, she acts like I'm torturing him all the time. I can't force him not to scream or yell, and I don't think every time he does he should be distracted with tv, oh she does that, he's upset let him watch something. So every time he's upset I should put the tv on? I know it calms him down but maybe he should learn to calm down by himself when he doesn't get what he wants. Maybe you should respect the fact that I ask him to put his toys away on his own and at the very least don't totally disregard what I've said to him right after I've said it.
He doesn't respect me when she's around because everything I do is being judged by her and he plays off that. When we're on our own he listens to me (fairly well, not perfect like any kid) and he's willing to do things that he refuses to do when she's around. It's really frustrating and I've tried talking to her, I TOLD her specifically that I don't want her picking toys up for him when I'm around and she did it just today, just because she was pissy at me.
It's really annoying. How do I get her to stop acting like everything I do is wrong, especially in front of my son? How do I get her to follow my rules for my child?