Rachel - posted on 08/04/2014 ( 5 moms have responded )
My world was turned upside down almost 2 months ago. My daughter, my only child was killed in an auto-accident. She was 27, with a bachelors degree in Education. I was so proud of her. She was the only beauty in my life. She was so beautiful, I couldn't believe how pretty she was.
Receiving that dreaded call about the accident that Monday morning at work was just so surreal. I didn't know how to act. I know I felt tears come down my face but I couldn't cry. I refused to beleive it was her. The days following are just a blur. I miss her so much, I just want to hear her voice so bad, I want to hold her, talk to her. I want so much to dream her. I still haven't been able to cry for her. It just doesn't seem real. I'm terrified to give in. Giving in will make it REAL.
I'm a single parent; her father was absent her whole life. It was just her and I only. My immediate family has been very supportive but I'm alone in this; in so many ways. I'm not married and "my" little family is no more. I can't have anymore children and I will NEVER have grandchildren. My faith has become almost Non-existent!!!!! And I feel no one understands!!!! People keep comparing my grief to their grief of losing a parent. I don't see the connection????? When I start to have episodes I try SO HARD to repress them. I try to think or do something else to make me laugh. It's not fair!!!!
I'm getting ready to start grief counseling.
I'm so scared. The word "Alone" has a new meaning for me now in so many ways.