Katie - posted on 10/31/2011 ( 5 moms have responded )
Hi! looking for some help with my 2yr old daughter. She's somewhat precocious, potty trained at under 2 (her idea not mine), moderately verbal, very sweet, second child.
She has tantrums, not that odd in a 2 yr old. The part that has me perplexed is that while my little darling is raging she yells things like "Mama pick up me" or "hug! Hug me. I need hug" or "Love you Mama."
I'm at a loss of how to respond. I don't want to send the message that tantrums are OK. I never give in to tantrums. She really seems to have trouble being angry. I don't know weather to comfort her or 'treat the tantrum".
So far I've tried to remain disengaged when she starts, encouraged her to use her words (usually I get "I can't"). Tried giving her time to calm down (she doesn't seem able to calm back down when she gets going). I've tried empathy: " I can see that you're angry...etc etc." She rejects attempts to communicate while she's in tantrum mode (not unusual I guess) she won't engage, just yells for physical contact. I've tried talking about feelings when she's not in tantrum mode. Reassuring her that everyone gets angry, it's ok to be angry. Mama still loves you when you're angry. Doesn't seem to be making a difference
I seem to consistantly end up with her clinging to me sobbing. And she doesn't tent to bounce back, she'll be clingly for 30min to several hours. It really is making any kind of correction with her a huge challange. I know I need to be setting limits with her- and I try not to let this disuade me, but I'm sure I sometimes take the easy road knowing what could be ahead if I correct her and she melts down on me.
Nothing that worked with my 4yr old works with her. Looking for ideas and insight please!
Katie SAHM of 2 (Sammy 4, Annelise 2)