I'm 16 dating a 26 year old

Ann - posted on 06/09/2016 ( 14 moms have responded )

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I'm 16 and I've been dating a 26 year old for 4 months. I've fallen in love with him and he treats me like a queen. I'm very mature for my age as I've helped raise my siblings and I'm an honors student. He's a great person and has even gotten me a promise ring. Here's the issue.... I'm pregnant and not sure what to do... How do I tell me parents without them trying to put him away... Should I even tell them or lie about the father? Please help. He plans on helping me but we're both worried.

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Tell your parents. It's not going to be easy, but they need to know the truth. They will take care of you and help you. The other ladies are right...the reason you're both hiding this relationship is because you know that it's wrong. If you both loved each other, you could wait two years to really start your relationship. I hate to say this and I know you hate to hear it, but if he's 26 and dating a 16 year old, then he's a very immature man. I wish you the best of luck, but you have to tell your parents the truth. They're your parents and they will always love you.

I understand you're afraid of him getting in trouble, but he put himself in this position. He knows it's wrong and so do you. But he's an adult. He's responsible for his actions. For the baby's sake, I don't think your parents should press charges. The important thing here is to do what's best for the baby and that's what you need to tell your parents. You don't want your child to grow up with a registered sex offender as a father.

While you are 16 and technically you aren't old enough to consent to that situation, you and I both know that you did. I think that your boyfriend is 100% responsible for his actions and he has a lot of growing up to do. None of this is your fault.

You need to come clean to your parents and just tell them that you need to do what's best for the baby, which is to not press charges against the father.

I don't think you should pull the father out of the baby's life, but I'm also positive you shouldn't be in a relationship with him. I know you disagree, but trust me. If he's 26 and dating a 16 year old, then he is not mature enough for you.

Good luck.

Anna - posted on 06/10/2016

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Dear Ann, I think that what you need right now is support (lots of it !) so I will not judge your choices, no matter how much I agree with the other ladies (I do !). You need to see the facts clearly: you are 16 yo, he's 26. Your parents are responsible for you, his are not. You need to fully understand your position right now and turn to the people who are responsible for you and really love you, your parents, and ONLY to them with the whole truth, no matter how much it may hurt. Tell them, explain how you feel about the situation and the father of your child. They may freak out (I would !) but eventually you along with them wil come up with the best long term solution. I wish you the best, whatever you and your family decide, and believe me, growing up you have yet lots to learn about maturity and true love...

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Sarah - posted on 06/12/2016

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Where on earth were your parents, my own 17 yo is living in a different city for the summer as she was awarded an internship at the college in that town. I sure as shit know she is not keeping company with a 26 yo man and I don't even see her! Come on, I am not sure I even buy your story. How checked out are your folks that they did not know what you were up to?

~♥Little Miss - posted on 06/12/2016

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Yeah, a cheap little trinket to trick the 16 year old....smart MAN.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 06/12/2016

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I am really sorry that you have been manipulated by a man when you are still a child. This is child molestation, and now you are pregnant. Fantastic. You should be scared to tell your parents, any teenager would be totally freaked out to tell their parents they are pregnant, and the fact that the partner is 26 won't help.

It doesn't matter how mature you think you are at 16, or how many people tell you that you are mature for a 16 year old. You are still 16. He is 26 which means he is pretty much a pedophile. Still hot huh? Still in love?

You lie about the father, they will still find out. The fact that you are considering lying shows your lack of maturity (not like we needed any proof, just really pointing it out to you) and the fact that you know he could get in trouble for this.

Why is he worried??? I would LOVE to hear...Oh and how good of him that he "plans on helping"...you mean he hasn't proposed? You do realize he is not in love with you.....

Sarah - posted on 06/12/2016

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I know this if from a deleted account:
" For the baby's sake, I don't think your parents should press charges. The important thing here is to do what's best for the baby and that's what you need to tell your parents. You don't want your child to grow up with a registered sex offender as a father. "
This may not be up to the parents. It will come out eventually and if she conceived at 15 in a state that requires 16 for consent, he can be arrested and prosecuted. If they live in a state that the age of consent is 18, he is in a heap of trouble.

Ev - posted on 06/10/2016

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To deleted account--this girl is some at fault for this. She agreed to it and she also is lying to her parents about things. She is responsible for her own actions in this. It does not all fall on the guy either. She made the choice to agree to sex with this guy and now is pregnant. It takes two to get that way. She has some issues to deal with and a lot of growing up to do.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/10/2016

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He should be worried. He committed a crime.

Nadine - posted on 06/10/2016

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A "great person" does not commit statutory rape, encourage someone to lie to her parents, or irresponsibly get a 16 year old child pregnant. At 26 he should know how to work a condom, and he sure as hell should not be having sex with a child. If he respected you and treated you as a queen, then he would not be having sex with you when you are not old enough to consent to sex.

Michelle - posted on 06/10/2016

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I agree with the other ladies.
A 26yo man has no business with a 16yo girl. He also got you pregnant, he doesn't respect you at all. In who's mind is it okay to get a 16yo pregnant?
You are also keeping this relationship a secret from your parents, why? If you are so in love and he "treats you like a queen", why are you so embarrassed to tell your parents? Is it because you both know that it's wrong?
You have also only known him for 4 months!!!!! OMG you are a child and living in a fantasy world.
Tell your parents ASAP and be honest with who the Father is.

Jodi - posted on 06/09/2016

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I'm sorry, you are pregnant. He does not treat you like a queen. He got a 16 year old pregnant and he has no place even having sex with a 16 year old. That's not treating you like a queen at all. In fact, the very fact that he is a secret to your parents tells me this man KNOWS he is doing the wrong thing and that this is illegal. The fact that you are both hiding your relationship from your parents actually truly demonstrates how very immature you both are.

You need to be honest with your parents. If you lie to them, you WILL get caught in your lie. Why? Because this man is the father of your child and eventually, they will discover that, especially if he plans on being in the child's life. You don't think they will figure it out? You really underestimate how smart parents actually are at figuring stuff out.

Dove - posted on 06/09/2016

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No 26 year old man has any business dating a 16 year old. If you were my daughter you'd be grounded until you are 18 (well, OK... no, but that would be my first instinct). The fact that you think this relationship is acceptable on any level just proves how immature you are....

Do you know what the age of consent law is where you live? Some states have it at 16 which means legally your parents wouldn't be able to press charges. If it's 18... they can and should.

The fact that you are worried about telling them and are considering lying is another big proof of your immaturity. If there is nothing wrong w/ your relationship you would not be afraid to come clean. You've gotten yourself in a world of trouble and you are going to need your parents help and support, so go sit down w/ them as soon as possible and come clean about everything. They will probably freak out on you, but hopefully they will also help and support you through this mess.

Ev - posted on 06/09/2016

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1)How did you even get involved with a 26 year old man? 2) Depending on the place you live in, your parents could charge him with statutory rape and he could have to sign onto the registration system of a sex offender? 3)How did you get this by your parents in the first place? 4)What is a man this age doing with a girl your age? 5) How can you know you are in love with this man after 4 months?

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