Amelie - posted on 06/22/2016 ( 8 moms have responded )
Two days ago I found out I was pregnant. I've taken three pregnancy tests since and every one of them has been positive but a part of me hasn't fully processed it.
Before you judge me, please understand. I'm not a reckless person or a party animal, I've been with my boyfriend for over three years and one night we didn't use protection. I took a morning after pill but it didn't work. So now I'm here, these last few days he and I have done nothing but cry and sit in silence. He's always been very supportive and I know he loves me but this has always been our worst fear.
I'm pro-choice and have always assumed I would abort, but it's so much harder than I could have ever imagined. Thinking about this little organism inside of me that's depending on me to survive, it's all I can think about. I'm not just another naive teenager that thinks love is all a baby needs to be okay, I know he and I are no where near ready to raise a child. We both work part-time, and I live with him and his parents. He's 21, so there's a 4 year age gap between us. We had planned on moving out of state and going back to his hometown after he finished his AA. I wanted to finish high school faster so I've been doing school online. I only have 1 more class left before I can graduate, then I want to go to community and transfer in to a university. I should probably note that he and I both work part-time, but we don't make nearly enough to raise a baby. We have three rescue cats which are work enough in themselves... I can only imagine how much money it would cost to care for a child.
I'm a little over 3 weeks pregnant now. I made an appointment at Planned Parenthood just to talk about it. I've been torturing myself by scrolling through pro-life sites, which make me feel like a murderer. My boyfriend definitely wants me to get an abortion, he's just as scared as I am.
I told my mom last night, and she took it pretty well. It really was the hardest thing I've ever had to tell her. But she was understanding and told me that it happens. I know she wants me to abort it, but she was trying to be subtle about it. I'm honestly just so humiliated, I can't imagine telling my dad, or my siblings (I have three brothers and a sister who are all 16+ years older than me). My boyfriend's family doesn't know yet, his mom is strongly against abortion, and she might disown him if she finds out.
I was thinking of going to a pregnant women's shelter? I don't know, I just really don't know what to do. I know I should abort it, but this is the hardest decision I've ever had to make. I just didn't know who to talk to, which is why I came here. Has anyone been through a similar situation? Or have any advice? I would really appreciate some support, because these last few days I've felt so alone.