I'm 17, having my first baby with no father (typical until you read the story)...

Lindsay Lee - posted on 05/30/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

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On the 10th of April, I found out I was pregnant... the father was a person I had dated for a year and a half and is 21... I let him know that I was pregnant and he said he wanted nothing to do with the baby at all... he told me to abort my child, I made a decision right then and there to cut him out of my life and he now wants a dna test to prove the child is his... I'm feeling a little bit lost as to what to do and how I'm going to handle being a single mother at 17, I do have my moms support but its not the same as a father figure... for the single mothers, is it hard for you to be a single mom? if so what advice could you give me for when the baby does arrive?

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Ev - posted on 05/31/2014

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Another piece of advice--after you have the baby and get settled, get a lawyer too. You need to immediately set up custody, visitation, and child support. Depending on the state you are in depends on the laws of that state. Just going on state assisstence alone is not enough in some states to get child support out of the father. Make sure to press for the DNA testing to prove this child is his. Make him accountable. But by going through the courts and setting this up, you protect that baby, yourself and even the father. The courts set up custody so the child is with one parent or the other in full custody or joint custody. Custody sets the things to go on for the parents to follow. Vistation sets up when the one parent can see the child and have the child so a relationship can be established with that parent and child. Child Support then gives you the financial help to care for the child's needs as set up in the order. IF you want help with child care and other things make sure that they are listed in the orders or the child support is going to be all you get to do those things too. Just a note on child support: Its for the maintenance of the child's life such as food, clothing, shoes, place to live and the utilities, other needs.

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Gena - posted on 05/31/2014

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First of all i would like to say that you made a very mature desicion to keep the baby.And that your mom is going to support you is exelent! I would do what Stephanie told you,apply for state assitent etc. Its hard having a baby,any age and even with a father invovled,but you will give your baby all the love it needs and will work things out.Good luck and i hope everything goes well.

Stephanie - posted on 05/30/2014

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Your mom will be a huge help to you. Also, if you apply for state assistance, and he denies being the father, they'll make him get tested, & then he'll be liable for child support. If he really doesn't want to be in the child's life, I would speak with an attorney and work all that out so he can't come back later and try to take the child. It is difficult being a single mother, but it's much more difficult to try to make a relationship out of nothing just for a child's sake. Your baby will have plenty of love through you and your family. If you ever want to talk, feel free to message me, or find me on Facebook.

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