I'm 19 and trying to get pregnant any tips?

Alexis - posted on 01/14/2015 ( 50 moms have responded )

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I'm 19 me and my boyfriend are trying to have a baby but have had no luck any moms out their have any tips on getting pregnant?

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Sarah - posted on 01/16/2015

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I still don't get it. You are an adult, make your own decision. I look back on those first years with my husband and I am so thankful I had that time with him. We both worked a ton, had tons of fun, traveled, were able to be generous with volunteering and learned how to be a team. I would not be the mother or wife that I am today without that time.
I did not live with my husband before marriage. Having the time to enjoy and learn about each other, BEFORE deciding to bring another human being into the family, was the best choice for me. Marriage is hard work, even under the best of circumstances. Why add the stress of a baby? It seems hugely selfish to me. To have a baby when you will hardly even see your spouse and then have that same baby watched by someone else? What will you do when you have been up all night, alone, with a sick infant? How will you go to school or work?

Trisha - posted on 01/15/2015

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I still think it is important that you are well prepared. Unfortunately stress can cause miscarriages or unhealthy babies. Being prepared will help reduce the chances of having to go through that type of pain.

Meagan - posted on 01/17/2015

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Im a 30 yr old stay at home mom. Our son wil b 3 in april. And thats even tough. My husband wrks nite shifts aswel. And its hard. Coz wen he has to sleep our son is wake. Taking on a responsibilty to bring a child into the situation u r in is selfish in my opinion. As jodi said life changes, things change. I was also told by my mom inlaw she wuld babysit etc, almost 3yrs later that never happened. And never makes an attempt to b part of his/our life. Taking care of a baby is the simple part, that moms make/seem to look so easy for ppl without kids. Iv got no support wats so ever. If we gt invited out, the nite befor the nxt days chores has to gt done. Out sons bag need to b packed. With his toys and snax etc. Sooner or later the visits stops and so does the invitations. At 20 ur life shuld b bout u. U shuld b selfish and do all u wna do for urself. Co once baby is on the scene, u wil constantly b in demand. Wether it b unto baby,hubby,studies,work and social life. R u honestly sstrong and mature enuf to take on the responsibility? Its a good thing u hav sis inlaw to help u out, bt at 3am wen hubby is at wrk u r dead tired of wrk and school ur kid comes dwn with a fever? Wat then? U mite b hw prepared, bt no amount of preparation is valid wen mommy is tired. Speak to ur priest or spiritual advisor they can guide in the "rite" direction. Bt id say beta urself first befor bringing a innocent baby into the world. Complete ur studies,wrk abit and travel. So that u can giv ur every bit of focus and energy to baby. Goodluck.

Trisha - posted on 01/15/2015

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I am not going to agree with any of the women here. You might end up in a situation where it doesn't work out with your fiance and you, but that can happen at any age.
If you have decided this is what you really want, what you need to do is get onto prenatal vitamins, have sex regularly (once every 2 days). Ensure you are eating healthy, not drinking, not doing drugs (of any sort).
Being an unhealthy weight (one way or another) can put a damper on reproduction - so ensure that that is under control.
A lot of couples have to try to get pregnant for up to a year and a half.
ONE THING I will suggest though, is ensure you have no debt, and that you have 3 months of living expenses saved up. I am from Canada so working for as long as I have with the same employer gives me the benefit of a full year of paid Maternity leave. You need to be financially ready. Living out on your own, with lots of savings going aside each month.
Be ready in every other way you can first.

Alexis - posted on 01/16/2015

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Yes I do have friends my age that have kids. I already figured out all that my fiance works a night shift jobs and I work a morning shift job and we live the the street from his sisters house and she glady said she help babysit and I'm also going to college.

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MaryAnn - posted on 06/04/2015

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You are both so young. And havent specified any health issues...predicting your most fertile days is stressful and puts pressure on. Its also highly inaccurate. Ovulation kits... pft. Waste of money. Youre in love and dont have kids yet to interrupt on that kind of thing... you'll have sex whenever you feel like it... and thats often a symptom of it being a fertile day. Keep it fresh, keep it exciting. It takes 24-48 hours for him to reload so to speak. Four or five times a week and it shouldn't take too long. Try period sex... it works for some people!

Sarah - posted on 01/19/2015

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Trisha, no one said that. We just suggested that if she and her spouse will work opposite shifts in addition to Alexis going to school, and the baby will be going to a sitter everyday, she should consider waiting. I don't think telling someone how much I enjoyed being a newlywed is judgmental at all. Trying to help someone see that there are options is not judgement. Don't forget, this post started with her telling us her fiance wanted kids so they could be in the wedding. Hardly a reason to procreate.

Trisha - posted on 01/19/2015

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Wow. Some of the people here are just judgmental.
"Do what make you happy, UNLESS its settling down earlier and committing yourself to having children and being a housewife for the rest of your life. Then, you should be waiting."

Sarah - posted on 01/18/2015

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Oh we have shared our collective lives wisdom with Alexis. She wants a baby. I suppose since she raised a child since she was fifteen, she may not have any other means to define herself. It's all she knows so maybe she is afraid to be anything but a mommy.

Anglyn - posted on 01/18/2015

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I'm 40 with a 18 month old. Her daddy is in rehab and her other granny tours the world no help. I live w my parents. I wouldnt bring into the world a child until you are completely done playing and eating what you want when you want and bathing when you want. And shopping for yourself and being an individual. It's all about the baby. They are number one. You are just mommy. So if that sounds like fun times. Then by all means sign up!!!!!!!

Jodi - posted on 01/18/2015

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If you've only been trying 2 months, that's not long. I wouldn't worry too much yet.

Alexis - posted on 01/18/2015

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Yes but it takes two to decide. My cycles are 31 days. So I know when I ovulate we've been trying for 2 months.

Sarah - posted on 01/18/2015

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Actually you said your fiance wanted kids, so the baby could be in the wedding. whatever....
have unprotected intercourse at your most fertile time. 14 days before your period is due. If you have a 28 day cycle then that would be day 14, if you have a 35 day cycle, then day 21. How long have you been trying? It isn't rocket science. If you go a full year of actively trying with no luck, then you can be evaluated for fertility treatment.

Alexis - posted on 01/18/2015

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Honestly not trying to be rude butI came on here to ask about any tips on how to conceive not to talk bout my life and what me and my fiance plan on doing when I do have a baby just cause I'm 19 doesn't me I'm not capable of having a baby or raising one I had to grow up a lot quicker than most teenagers my age I didn't have someone telling not to have kids I raised my little 4 year old brother since he was born on my own I was working two jobs at the time and taking care of him. so it doesn't bother me or him to have kids early. I understand that you guys are trying to tell me to wait but on all honesty I don't want to wait I'm ready to have my own kids.

Gena - posted on 01/17/2015

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I agree with Jodi. Why dont you first finish studying. A baby costs alot and is alot of work..even as a sahm.

Jodi - posted on 01/16/2015

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So he works nights, you work mornings, you will be studying, you will have someone else looking after your baby....for now (who is to say it will be okay with her 3 years from now, life changes things). Why not try and finish your studies before you do this? When are you going to get family time together with the baby?

Sarah - posted on 01/16/2015

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There are many benefits to being married beyond emotional ones. If you are not legally united to your partner, either via marriage or a domestic partnership, you are not considered a primary significant other. You'd have no claim to property, possessions or finances if the relationship ends. You would not be able to give consent for emergency medical treatment. Even your ability to take out a loan is affected by marital status.
I know it seems impossible that the relationship might end, but no one know for sure what the future holds.
To wait until a child can have active role in a ceremony, you are going to be waiting four or five years!
To each there own, but I just don't see the rush.

Meagan - posted on 01/16/2015

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Hey alexis. Do u have any friends ur age that have kids? And what are ur plans once baby is born? Are u gonna work or study? Baby in daycare. . . Etc?

Raye - posted on 01/16/2015

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Trisha, you make a good point, however many states in the US no longer recognize common law. So, he could have her and the child dependent on him, then decide to leave them with nothing. Yes, having a child means that your partner will be in your life forever afterward... which can be wonderful or a nightmare. We're just hoping she thinks hard about this decision before rushing into anything. They're both very young. You are on your second marriage, so you know that things don't always work out as planned.

Trisha - posted on 01/16/2015

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I am from Canada, and there is NO benefit that isn't simply emotional to getting married that you do not get from being common law.
Don't get me wrong, I am married - and it is my second marriage. But the commitment of planned parenthood is far more satisfying than the marriage certificate. We are doing something together that can not be broken, or nullified by more paperwork.

Alexis - posted on 01/16/2015

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I've know him since we were kids and we've been together 3 1/2 years and living together for 2 years so I am absolutely confident in our relationship.

Raye - posted on 01/16/2015

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I think it's still better to wait. "He wants the baby to be part of the wedding" sounds like a lame excuse for not marrying you just yet. When you have the baby, he will come up with another reason not to get married.

How long have you been together? How confident are you in your relationship?

Trisha - posted on 01/16/2015

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Well congratulations and good luck to you Alexis! :) I wish I was lucky as you and was able to start my family at a younger age. I am 29, and pregnant with my first.

Alexis - posted on 01/15/2015

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Let me clear things here my fiance will be 20 in April we are financially stable the reason he wants to have a baby before the wedding is cause he want our child to be apart of the wedding as well and we also live on our own

Miranda - posted on 01/15/2015

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There is pregnancy apps you can download. I had one called MY DAYS. It works it shows your fertile days, good luck. Ignore the negative comments on here, it's your life you didn't ask for advice on IF you should conceive. You asked for advice on HOW TO conceive.

Sarah - posted on 01/15/2015

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Why does your fiance want to have a child before you are married? Do you actually want to have a baby now?

~♥Little Miss - posted on 01/15/2015

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My tip? Wait to get married, and don't do it intentionally so young. Go to school. Get an actual life and a career that you can truly support your children with.

Raye - posted on 01/15/2015

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I also suggest waiting. Parenthood is a long difficult road. And if your relationship doesn't work out, you would still have to share your child with him and deal with him in your life. Enjoy being young, and enjoy time with your partner before you're tied down with kids.

Michelle - posted on 01/15/2015

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I'm with the other ladies. If you are planning on getting married next year why not wait until then before having a baby?
Enjoy being with each other and save your money for your wedding and baby. Babies/children aren't cheap so it's best to have a bit of savings behind you if you can.
What are your fiance's reasons for wanting a baby before you get married? You have your whole life ahead of you, enjoy each other for now.
In regards to actually falling pregnant, get yourself an ovulation kit and have sex when you ovulate.
Good luck in whatever you decide but I would strongly suggest waiting.

Jodi - posted on 01/15/2015

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I suppose it's your choice, but personally, if I was 19 and planning on getting married in a couple of years, I'd use my youth to work and save for a home, a wedding, and my future. There honestly is no real reason to rush the baby. But, your choice. Good luck.

Gena - posted on 01/15/2015

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Why do you want to have a baby befor you are married?Why not wait until you are married?

Alexis - posted on 01/14/2015

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Theirs no rush we both decided that we were ready and my fiance wants to have a baby before we get married.

Jodi - posted on 01/14/2015

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I'd wait until after you get married. Honestly, enjoy planning your wedding and having the wedding without the hassle of a baby. If I were you guys I'd just wait. There isn't any rush, you are young. Just enjoy your sex life without getting stressed each month that you aren't pregnant. It will happen when it happens.

Sarah - posted on 01/14/2015

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What is the rush? Just wondering, my early married years were so fun. No kids, just the two of us. Think it over before you add the stress of kids to the mix.
At 19, unless you have some sort of health issue you will probably conceive within 6 months to a year. Assuming your partner is fertile.

Jodi - posted on 01/14/2015

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If he's not prepared to commit to you and put a ring on it, don't do it.

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