I'm 19, pregnant, and terrified. Advice?

Christen - posted on 08/05/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

8

0

0

I have a stable relationship with my parents and friends, but my parents desperately want me to finish college (I'm a sophomore) and get settled as quickly and painlessly as possible, and my friends are extremely religious so I'm nervous for their reaction. The other problem is the boy who's the father (my age) is my ex and we've had a pretty horrible relationship. My family hates him and my friends don't approve of us ever being together. He's not a bad person, I do still have feelings for him, and I know he would be supportive, but I really feel like we'd both be better off moving on from each other. It was a mistake seeing him a few weeks ago, but now I have to deal with the consequences and I'm freaking out a bit. I'm overwhelmed- I could never abort or give my child up for adoption, but I so desperately want him/her to have a financially stable life with two parents and I can't see me being able to offer that if I give birth this early in my life. I don't want to disappoint my family, and as much as I'm sure they'd love my child I really think they would love it more if I graduated and didn't have to care for another person at such a young age. I also don't want my ex to have another reason to be in my life. I don't know how to feel! I'm so confused. I know I would be a great mom, but I absolutely do not have my life together enough for this to happen. I know I made the choice and I understand this was a possible consequence I was signing up for, but is it selfish to wish I could still go back to school and carry on with my life? How do I tell my parents? Any words of advice??

2 Comments

View replies by

Christen - posted on 08/05/2012

8

0

0

Thank you so much for your response! I feel like time is moving so slowly and every minute that passes I get more upset and worked up and anxious...but it did help to hear about your sister, so thank you.

Dove - posted on 08/05/2012

11,673

0

1349

I'm sure you will get some responses from people telling you that it's ok to abort, but I can't be one of them. It's not selfish to want to go back to school. Going back to school is a GOOD thing. Have you researched the possibility of finishing online? That might make it easier to juggle the schooling and the new mom thing.

I will tell you that my sister gave birth to her daughter a few months short of turning 19. She lived with our parents, did schooling online, and got a night job (both our parents worked and were home at night to be with the baby) by the time my niece was a year old. Bio-dad has never met his kid (his choice) who is almost 8 now. At work my sister met a nice, slightly older man and they started dating. They've been married and the 3 of them living together for almost 2 years now.

I know your story won't look exactly like that, but I wanted to post it to let you know that this IS doable. You and your baby will be ok!!

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms