I'm 22 weeks pregnant with my second child and my boyfriend left

[deleted account] ( 2 moms have responded )

My boyfriend and I have a 19 month old boy and soon we'll be having a little girl. He says I changed after I had my son. I did but mostly for the better other then I became really insecure and I developed major trust issues but he gave me reason. I know I wasn't fair for questioning him constantly and I've been super hormonal. Before he left he told me I didn't love him and he was unhappy. He's left other times before and usually comes home and says sorry. He goes to his parents house every time and locks himself up there. He blocked my number which isn't the first time. He was so excited we planned this baby. Does anyone have any advice he says he's done this time and he's said that before but I want to raise our children together. Do you think he's done? Is he scared all of a sudden? What should I do?


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Amy - posted on 04/10/2012




I can't answer what your boyfriend is feeling but he sounds very immature. I know it's scary to think of going through this alone but the way you describe him it sounds like you would be better off. Did it ever occur to him that you may be paranoid because he has left multiple times? How does he expect you to get a hold of him if there is a medical emergency with your daughter? I also suggest you find counselor but for yourself to work on your self confidence and independence, it sounds like he's breaking your spirit! I wish you the best of luck.

Paula - posted on 04/09/2012




1. Contact a lawyer so that you can make sure your children's legal rights are protected.

2. Protect yourself by dividing any joint checking accounts or other combined funds.

3. Contact your doctor to discuss whether she thinks you have "changed" or been particularly moody. If so, you make need some counseling or medication to get yourself back on track. Let your boyfriend know what the doctor reports.

4. Contact a couple's therapist or your spiritual advisor and set up a consultation. Ask your boyfriend to go with you. But go even if he doesn't.

5. If you can't get talk to him by phone, send a registered letter telling him that you want to be with him and raise your children together but if you have to go it alone, you will. Let him know that you expect him to continue to take financial and legal responsibility for his children.

Be strong. For your sake and for your children's sake. Your boyfriend sounds immature and in need of some growing up. I know that you don't want to be a single mother and have to raise your kids by yourself but you will need to prepare yourself for that possibility. It does no good to try to force your boyfriend into coming back. You need to make a home for yourself and your kids and then if he comes back, you can decide if he has grown up enough to join in the life you have created.

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