I'm a 27 year old mother of 2 (a 3 year old and 8 month baby) and a step kids age of 6.....I havein laws that I'm constantly trying to impress but feel like they act like they are better then everyone because they are constantly talking crap. I have a mother in law that doesn't believe in marriage but has been married before so maybe she just doesn't like me but she sure likes me when I'm driving her everywhere and buying her groceries and etc.... I have a step kid that only likes me when I'm buying them stuff and I feel like I get NO HELP with all of our kids...I take care of my step kid more than its own father and I feel soooo unappreciated...

Mad - posted on 07/01/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I'm a 27 year old mother of 2 (a 3 year old and 8 month baby) and a step kids age of 6.....I havein laws that I'm constantly trying to impress but feel like they act like they are better then everyone because they are constantly talking crap. I have a mother in law that doesn't believe in marriage but has been married before so maybe she just doesn't like me but she sure likes me when I'm driving her everywhere and buying her groceries and etc.... I have a step kid that only likes me when I'm buying them stuff and I feel like I get NO HELP with all of our kids...I take care of my step kid more than its own father and I feel soooo unappreciated... I'm not sure if this is just post partum talking because my doctor did diagnosed me with serve post partum when my baby was 2months and prescribed me Zoloft but the Zoloft gives me bad depression crashes and told me to see a therapist but I don't because I'm not much of a talker when it comes to knowing who I am or talking in person. But in all honesty am I crazy for wanting a help? I forgot to mention this kid that I'm caring for my boyfriend the 6 year old isn't his either and I understand that he didn't find out until it was 1 and got attached so I say nothing but when he is a dead beat dad that doesnt call or pick them up unless their 2 weeks of freedom without the 3rd child is up and just doesn't seem to get it when I say hey maybe you should stay home and not go with your friend or family and leave all the kids with me like nothing then I'm not sure what to think or do? Does he just wanna keep the kid thats not his to stay attached to the mother? What is it? I'm sick and tired of wondering what I should do and how I go about this...before I go on looking older and gaining more weight due to depression please someone suggest something before I go out of my mind!

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Chet - posted on 07/02/2014

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I know you said that you aren't much for taking, but therapy can be very helpful. You might just need to shop around a bit for a therapist that you connect with. It really sounds like you've got a lot going on.

Forget trying to impress your in laws. Do the best you can. Do what you know is right. Sometimes you need to remind yourself that people are entitled to their own opinion, even if it's wrong. For some people, talking crap is just their hobby. Let it roll off.

Kids are inherently shallow and self centred. I don't know how long you've been in the life of the six year old, or what sort of role models this child has had in the past, but if this child has behaviours that are a problem you need to help him learn better ones.

There is nothing wrong with wanting help, but sometimes you may need to really hunt for it. If family is a dead end try connecting with friends, or with other moms who have children of similar ages. Look for community resources that support families - like drop in centres, or early years programs.

When you feel like you're doing it alone remind yourself that you are the person these children are depending on. You are the person they do have when they don't have anyone else. Where would they be without you. Don't feel unappreciated, feel like you've stepped up to one of the most important jobs in the world.

I know it's hard, but try to eat right, rest and exercise. It will help. If you live near a Y they usually have inexpensive childcare while you work out.

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