I'm a single father and full-time student...my daughter is 8 1/2 and I can't do anything to get her to listen, I'd really like some ideas/inputs to try.

Philip R Maag - posted on 03/21/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I'm a single father that has no help whatsoever from her mother (preferred). The amount of pain my daughter is experiencing from her mother never around, always standing her up, and more or less just the general all around doesn't care about her kids. This is so bad that the state actually has taken her son from her and placed him in another state with his dad (which is even worse than her). My daughter seems to actually have more emotions on the brother part but it's her mom that just continuously breaks her heart! I've been pretty confident that this has been the cause of all the "illness" she has been having, but even though I went through very similar scenario as a child I don't know how to respond, other than being here with open arms, for her when these incidents happen. Also we are at the beginning stages of puberty and yes I do understand being that I am a father what I am walking into and am fully prepared and always more than willing to be there for her no matter what!! Lately though my daughter has begun to show attitudes and very disrespectful bursts. Seems she prefers to have nothing of any kind of anything (i.e. toy's, electronics, tv, etc...) So now that I have tried ALL disciplinary actions I know too use and we are only continuing to progress in the wrong directions I had hoped to achieve with her here. Basically what I'm getting at is I'm hoping that someone may have some tips or similiar situations that they are willing to share so maybe would could come up with a plan to help our children through their hard time but also have them still remain "good" children, instead of the hair pulling, anxiety, depression, and panic attacks that come from our kids. My child went from talking to me and being beside me always (which was so so PERFECT!!), also a child who knew no lies and told none! Here recently though she has begun to say a few things in say a back talk manner, such as "whatever", "so", and "i don't care", to say the least. Also where she used to come running when I asked or called for her she instead now will NEVER answer me! When she does it will be on almost all occasions "I don't know" for her answer, which you can see where that not only gets old but solves nothing in the process of this new stage. She will also use the eye rolling and scoffs at every opportunity. The way I was raised and also raise these things were never accepted but I must say I have been nearly 100% lenient lately because of the depression from the mommy issues. That has come and gone now and can no longer be the "nice guy". I hate having to discipline my child period, but know how important it is to have children who know how to be respectful and responsible. So if there is anyone that reads this and has any suggestions to help me get my child back, the one that used to speak with me about everything always wanted to be near. Her school performance has gone from perfect down to a level that has never been acceptable in my family so long as I've known schools. I know these are changes that us as single parents are always progressing through, but the thing is this is the first stage where I'm not so sure that I am handling this right, possibly not even in the same ballpark with what I should be doing. So please anyone I'm all ears!!??? My daughter is my heart, soul, & everything!! I am willing always and anytime no matter the subject to be right there for her but feel that I'm loosing that honor of being able to help her with her emotions and I'm the type of parent that lives for those moments. I want to make sure that no matter what I once again and then continue to get these times back with my daughter. I know that before you know it they're already grown and gone to college...I want to take full advantage of these years so that the ones where she will be interested in others instead of me I will at that point be able to look back and not only have all the great perfect memories but also knowing that I did and was there like I told her I would be and how I want to be, making the absolute most out of the childhood experience that so far from her first breathe has been literally my whole life! :) Once again any and all suggestions, stories, tips, etc...are more than welcome and needed to help me ensure she is raised properly and that we both continue to keep our good standing relationship. Thank you all very much for taking the time. God Bless and good luck!

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Stacy - posted on 03/21/2014

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Your little girl heart is broken, she misses her brother and being a little lady she feels betrayed by her mommy and as you said she is going to be looking for a woman in her life as she is growing up and dealing with big girl things. I think the most you can do is tell her you love her every day she needs to know that, and I'm pretty sure from what you posted she already knows. I'm sure you'be heard the saying "we hurt the ones we love the most". She's not trying to hurt you, she's confused and scaired, maybe she's afraid you are going to make her go back to her moms and will loose the good life she seems to have with you? The most you can do is talk to her every day even when you think she's not listening...She is. Erasure you are here for her and love , tell her she is your world and nothing or no one will ever change that, tell her you are nit going to leave her. These are all things that are probably going though her little mind and she needs to know its ok to mis mommy and her brother. Maybe you can find him and they can somehow keep in touch? Just keep up the good work dad. She is so lucky to have you in her life, remember not every day is going to be perfect because if it was it wouldn't be normal the best perfect is your own world, and your little girl is yours. God bless & good luck your doing fine if you didn't worry you wouldn't care.

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