I'm a single mother of one,,

[deleted account] ( 2 moms have responded )

I'm really concerned about my daughter,, she is three years old,, her father and I are not married,, her surname is my surname,, in the court of law does that not mean anything,, this man is like dirt "kak" on a clean blanket,,I went to court for maintenance but there's no hope,, he has not paid for the previous months,, he doesn't bring my daughter back when he should,, I am so worried,, can the court take her from me as I am working really hard and I pay more than he does,,

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[deleted account]

Thank you so much for your time,,
I am worried,, this guy is trouble,, and he feels he will win because he is a security guard with magma,, they have lawyers,, he has friends whom he is depending on,,
Is really disappointing as I am worried about my child. Yes his the father,, but this person isn't true to his word,, when he takes her he goes to sleep,, when I go and fetch her as she has been there for longer than he said,, she's filthy and hungry,, his guardians are old,, my parents are fit and my daughter is in good care when I'm working out,, it breaks my heart,, I did not want all this,, he called this evening threatening to take me to court and he mentioned he will bring the police,, I laugh because this guy can't afford my child's expenses,, he depends on his colleagues,, I really thought because she's under my surname he has no say!!!!

[deleted account]

The fact that her surname is the same as your surname doesn't really mean anything in court in terms of the father's rights. He is still her biological father whether he shares a name with her or not. You chose him to be her father, so you have to live with that decision, and so does she because no one can change her DNA.

If he does not bring her back on time after his scheduled visitation, you need to call your mediator or lawyer to file contempt of court order charges against him every time. You will need to be able to prove he was not there at the scheduled time in order for the courts to do anything. The easiest way to do that is to arrange to meet in a public place where you will have witnesses and possibly time stamped surveillance video (Several of my clients use police stations--police are great witnesses). If you can't get a public meeting place, at least try to have a friend with you while you wait, that friend can testify in court, but the testimony may not be strong because there is the possibility the friend is just covering for you.

The court cannot take her away from you because you are working hard and pay more than he does. I'm not sure where you got that idea. The only way the court can take her away from you is if you are determined to be an unfit mother, or the environment she lives in is determined to be unsafe, unsanitary, or otherwise unfit. Her father CAN take you to court for custody, but he would have to prove that it would be in the best interest for the child to live with him, and that can be very difficult if the child is already established living with you and your home is deemed suitable.

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