I'm a stay at home mom with a 6 yr old and 2 yr old . My husband works 2 jobs so that we can pay our bills and just basically survive. I feel like a single mother though. I know it's hard on him too working all the time but I feel like I do everything especially with kids ! When he is home he has to sleep which doesn't leave too much time for family time. I'm not sure how to feel about this . Should I just be strong and suck it up? O
Danielle Elizabeth - posted on 05/20/2013
Believe me I KNOW your frustrations, but I was just trying to show you your husbands perspective and if you know he is doing his best then it will help keep you sane. I remember I started getting upset bc I was planning a huge 1st birthday party for my daughter, and I'm one of those people that has to schedule and organize everyting and I was becoming frustrated bc I was doing it with no help from hubby. I realized the only reason why I was able to throw this beautiful party is bc my husbands works his tail off and that's why he couldn't be as involved with the party planning. When you catch yourself getting overwhelmed try and see if a relative will take the kids for a few hours so you can have some alone time. I always feel more patient and less overwhelmed after I had some time to myself.
I want to add to my last comment that I am so thankful that I am at home with my children . And I feel like I single mother in the sense that I get no help with the children. Not in a financial sense. I love my family it's just hard sometimes. Sometimes I get so frustrated I just cry. But I quickly snap out of it because I know I'm doing a great job being with my children. I know it won't always be this way because I plan on going back to work when my youngest starts school . But thanks for ur comments. Very helpful!
Talk to your and tell him your feelings. Being married has the advantages of telling each other how you feel and understanding. I understand of the husband coming home and going to bed and not spending enough time with the family. My husband was working nights and when he would come home, he would go to bed and my kids and I would be up and well there really wasn't family time. I felt alone too. But, he was doing his job and having to get rest was understandable.
But, then when it comes down to it.. My husband was then laid off work and well his working all the time didn't really accomplish anything. I know it put food on the table and a roof over our heads and that was the main thing.
Now, currently my husband has a job and then he has gotten down to where he cannot work.I would get upset cause their wasn't enough time spent with me and the children. Now, I worry about what is going to happen with him.. Is he going to get better and all.
Now I will tell you here in a bit of what I am trying to say. My dad and father in law passed away about 1 year apart. So, now I get worried of bad things happening. I look at the time spent with one another. If there isn't enough time spent and one of us would disappear.. Or shall I say pass away.. Well, we would look back and wish there was more time spent with the family.
Now, this is what I am trying to get across. It is great that your husband is working and doing his best of providing for you and your children. Just talk to him about trying to spend more time with you and the children. Ask him if he could take an extra day off of one of his jobs , so it could be a family day. Then you could look forward to that happening every week. Even if it is all day at home. The point is.. make sure you tell him how you feel and allow him to know it and if he loves you with all his heart, he will understand. Make sure that you tell him that it is important for a family to spend time with one another.. For one day.. it could disappear. I pray that will never happen. But, it happens every day and that is one thing that I look at. Spend as much as you can with each other, for one day when you pass away, there will not be anymore time to spend. Hope you understand what I am trying to say. And may God bless you and your family.
Danielle Elizabeth - posted on 05/18/2013
It sounds like your both doing what is needed in order to function and survive. If you try and see it from your husbands perspective then think how hard it would be to always be away from your family and miss a lot of the kids growing up. He's making sacrifices in order to support you, and your making sacrifices in order to raise your kids. I'm not saying being a stay at home mom is easy by any means and I understand how exhausting kids are, but your husbands situation isn't easy either. My husband owns his own business and works 85 hours a week most weeks, and I have a 6 yr old step daughter, a 16 month old daughter, and am pregnant with our third. My husband spends his free time with his family and does his best to help me when he can, and that's all I can ask of him. As Jodi suggested, you can try to help find ways to live on a lower budget so your husband could be home more. I give a man a lot of credit that is willing to work multiple jobs in order to support his family, and I know it breaks my husbands heart when he misses things with our kids bc of work so I try to remember we are both doing our part and making sacrifices in order for our family to function.
Jodi - posted on 05/18/2013
Sorry, but you have clearly both decided for you to be a SAHM, but there is a price to pay. He works 2 jobs. It is totally understandable that (1) he is always tired and (2) you are doing everything with the kids. I am assuming he has very little time off work, and what time he does have off, he eats and sleeps.
As a family, maybe you need to consider your choices. Are there ways you can contribute financially to the household so your husband doesn't have to work 2 jobs? Is there a way you can make more savings so that your husband only has to work 1 1/2 jobs instead of 2 jobs? Can you find a way that he can cut back his hours?
I do want to add that you can't compare yourself to a single mother, and you should refrain from doing so. You have a husband supporting you financially. Try doing what you do without that. You'd have to get a job.
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