I'm a step mom

Holly - posted on 12/21/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I am a new (1yr) stepmom to a situation, and i have children of my own... this past summer my stepdaughter came over with lice in her hair... i struggled until midnight every day going through her hair, but managed to get the lice out, she is 7yo and her hair was waist length and HALF of her hair is matted dead ends... well she came over even MORE infested... i am talking 10 LARGE lice and countless small ones and countless amount of eggs.... well and i could hardly get the lice comb through her hair... i asked my fiancee if i could cut enough off to get the comb through her hair, that it would probably be like 5in... well he gave me the go ahead and so i did... and then we were able to get the comb through... well my fiancee thought, well i should PROBABLY let the BM (biomom) well, i guess you could say, i didn't think about telling BM, but then again, it isn't my place to discuss these things with her. well, BM flips out... oops sorry, i wont deny it, we were in the wrong... but her mother tells her that i RUINED her hair, that i cut out all the curls (they were not curls, they were matted up rats nest ends) that i HELD HER DOWN while my fiancee was gone (yes, even though he was there and i ASKED him if i could) but my stepdaughter's hair was SOOO MUCH HEALTHIER, she enjoyed getting her hair brushed, where as before if you tell her "we need to brush your hair", she would cry and scream "NO NO NO", well now her hair is becoming dead and getting matted again, She asked me to make a list of hair products i use on my youngest's hair, and so i did, and now last night my stepdaughter tells me her mom was FURIOUS that i made that gesture...

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Holly - posted on 12/21/2012

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@honey I don't think this is neglect... I know that even after I brush it literally with in 2 seconds of her sitting completely still, it is in a mass of matted knots.

@dove- I think my stepdaughter realizes that her mother is being petty, she made a comment of how she would love to spend more time with us. She even told me a few weeks ago that she mentioned to her mother how she would like to come one extra day during the week, but her mother told her no... i am hopping in a few months that my fiancee will try to go to mediation and work in an extra day into the schedule, so that we spend more time with her... her behavior is a lot better the more time she spends with us.

Dove - posted on 12/21/2012

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Having lice and matted ends on your hair is not obvious neglect.... If every kid that ever got lice and/or matted hair had someone report their parents to CPS.... CPS would have no time to try and protect the kids that are starved, beaten, or witnesses to drug deals on a daily basis.

Holly, I am sorry that the birth mom is making this so difficult for your stepdaughter. I wish I had advice on a 'magic' way that would cause all people to be able to co-exist and co-parent peacefully.

Honey - posted on 12/21/2012

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I'm surprised her school hasn't stepped in and called CPS.....have your husband go with you to discuss w/school principal. This is clearly neglect.

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