I'm a stepmom and need some advice

Colleen Van Der - posted on 12/28/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I have a 4 year old step daughter who I have known about a year longer than her father and I have been together because I am a teacher at her school and we are really close. Recently has been a bit difficult worse than ever like progress we have made with her has regressed shes been rude to both of us and niether of us knows where that comes from. She has also started acting very infantile lately throwing tantrums, cries when she doesn't get her way and doesnt even sleep through the night anymore like she use to. I would really like some advice from any parent who has experience anything like this or has some advice on how to handle this situation.

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Colleen Van Der - posted on 12/28/2013

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As far as I know her mother and father were divorced for about a year and a half before I can into the picture. Which means she was probably about 1year and a half when it happened. At our house there have been no changes, when we first got together at the beginning of the year her behaviour did change but I know it was because I was taking her fathers attention and she didn't like that, but she got use to me being around and craves my attention more than her fathers sometime. Her mother got remarried but also before I came into the picture, but she recently (about a month or so) ago she had a baby. So could it be the new baby affecting her behaviour even if the baby isn't in our house?

Ev - posted on 12/28/2013

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You have to understand a few things. Her world is not what it once was and she knows it. She can not fully understand that her parents are not together anymore and why that is. She can not express herself fully with words yet because she is still learning them. (You knew her before you and her father got together. Has there been any other changes you noted in her since you and her father got together? You do not have to detail them here but just for your own thoughts.) She could be doing this for attention and take it from you. She could be doing this in response to all that is going on. My advice is that you two and mom sit down and discuss the problem and see what is going on. Most four year old children can express themselves but when things like parents splitting up and a new person comes into the picture with either parent, these kinds of behaviors can be seen. (I have two kids that went through a divorce with me and their father).

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