I'm a teen mom and in foster care and my real mom is blaming everything on me

Hailey - posted on 01/08/2015 ( 7 moms have responded )




My name is Hailey I'm 15 and have had almost a 4 month, year old baby the problem is im in foster care and just got gardenship with them and all my mom said was we are sopose to have 2 visits a month and don't know about me and visites and u will probably be having Mary and Dan as your mom and dad cause of the guardianship so I don't know what is going to happen and when i did live with her her new husband hits me and my sister thats why were in foster care and the dad of my child is a lot older than me and i dont no how to tell my foster parents whos it is because i dont want him to get hurt and my mom doesnt even no that i have a baby and i dont no how to tell her i hate her and i dont ever want to see her again and i want to get a restraining order on her but i feel im overdoing it



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Dove - posted on 01/10/2015




Thanks for that link Sarah. Any state in the US an older person can NOT legally have sex w/ a 15 year old. Period.

Please do not give this 15 year old advice like she is an adult.... She made an adult decision to have a child, yes... but she is NOT an adult... and she needs help.

Curi - posted on 01/09/2015




you are old enough to make your own decision. tell your mom and your guardians that you need time apart from her. you have a baby to take care of right now and you need to be your best for that baby you dont need to be stressing about your mom and blaming stuff on you right now. you dont deserve to get hit neither does your sister. if that guy is going to hit you dont think that he wont hit your 4 month old. you were keeping yourself safe and as a mom you did the right thing for you and the baby. i wouldnt worry about the father of the baby right now. if he wants to see the baby and such he does have rights. i would not worry about his age or whatever right now. you can always say he is younger. shit my parents freaked when they saw my husband for the first time but he was younger than he looked. my friends used to make fun of me for dating a 40 year old but really he was only 23. but that doesnt matter as long as he is good to you and the baby screw the age. You dont need to tell your mom until you are ready. especially since you are not in her custody she doesnt need to know until you are ready to tell her. some parents cant take it and thats one thing my parents could not do when i found out i was pregnant. i needed comfort help and support and they didnt find out about the second until i was a week before delivery, i didnt want nor need the stress. worry about yourself and the baby for now, dont worry about your mom you need to make life best for you and the baby right now, its all about the babys well being now.

in my state you have the right to have sex at the age of 14. and there is a 5 year window. so he can be up to 19 and be fine. but then again like i said no one needs to know his age, as long as he is good to you and the baby the age will not matter when you are 20 or 30.

Sarah - posted on 01/08/2015




Yes, your school guidance counselor or even your principal can help you. Do you have a caseworker with CPS that you can call? Did you put the father's name on the birth certificate? I know you don't want to hurt him, but you need to get a support order. Also, he committed a crime, Hailey, you are not old enough to consent.
I agree, the best thing you can do for yourself and your child, is stay in school.

Dove - posted on 01/08/2015




Are you in school? Is there a guidance counselor at your school? Or being in foster care do you have a social worker?

My advice would be to speak to the guidance counselor and/or social worker... someone you can trust... and find out what is going to happen and what your options are as far as keeping you and your baby safe and getting you the proper help that you need for yourself and your child.

My other advice would be to focus on your child and your education... in order to support yourself and your child you will NEED a good education. Hang in there!

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