I'm at my wits end please help!!

Jacquoia - posted on 10/08/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

3

0

1

hello everybody I am a single working mom of a 14 year old daughter I work 2nd shift which is 3 p.m. To 11 p.m. And that is not ideal for me I have tried to find another job that gives me better hours but I can't afford to make minimum wage and pay the bills. I've talked to my boss and hr about getting moved to another shift but there aren't any openings so if I don't work, no money is made. she used to be very smart very respectable and a sweet person but lately her grades are slipping she's being very defiant I'm having a lot of problems with her attitude and a smart mouth. Today I came home from work early and she decided that she didn't want to be in the same house as me and she was going to leave I told her she was not allowed to leave and that she has to go to her room she proceeded to leave this behavior is unacceptable to me and I told her that she is still a child and that she has to obey me she told me that I get to do whatever I want to do so why can't she do whatever she wants to do and I told her because she's not an adult she got very upset slammed her door and locks me out men in with her I do not know what I'm supposed to do from here please help me in any words of encouragement would be awesome thank you.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Dove - posted on 10/08/2014

11,631

0

1348

Teenagers are generally unreasonable human beings. Maybe on your next day off the two of you can have a special mother/daughter date (do something she's really wanting to do.. or go together and buy her a new outfit or something else that is important) and talk to each other about your roles in this family. She is growing up and probably wanting some freedoms, but w/ freedoms comes bigger responsibilities... and if she can't handle the responsibilities, she can't handle the freedoms. Maybe something is going on at school (bullying, conflict w/ a teacher, struggling w/ the work) that you are not yet aware of... maybe she's getting in w/ some bad influences, etc...

There definitely needs to be rules and boundaries and consequences for unacceptable behavior, but maybe getting to the root of the issues in a calm and friendly environment will go further than just reacting to the nastiness.

Good luck!

Elsa - posted on 10/08/2014

10

0

0

Don't blame yourself. My name is elsa a mother and grandma. I'm also a substitute teacher. I have witnessed good girls whose good attitudes changed because of bad association they are having at school. Find out what friends they have. All my kids are in their 30 s. But when they passed to middle school they changed for the bad. It was a rollercoaster. They got better as they got older even though my youngest is 33 and still is a problem with him cause he is oppositional.

3 Comments

View replies by

Jacquoia - posted on 10/08/2014

3

0

1

Thanks for the advice ladies. I agree that there is something going on with her that I'm not yet aware of. Every time I try to talk to her she shuts down and won't talk to me. Actually she wants nothing to do with me at all. It's like she can't stand me. She only has one friend that I'm aware of and she's a good girl (as far as I know). I wish she would talk to me or to someone about what's truly bothering her because this behavior cannot continue.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms