I'm being forced to be a parent

Angel - posted on 04/26/2014 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I got with my fiance last year and we both had kids of our own from previous relationships and one together. He has a fixing to 4 year old daughter my son is 2 years my son automatically called him daddy nobody has taught him that he did it all on his own...ever since then he'll tell me that I have to start being a mom to his daughter that I need to treat and discipline her the same I do my son...He doesn't like that my son calls him daddy and his daughter calls me by my first name. Any advice will help please

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Michelle - posted on 04/26/2014

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If this is how you are feeling now it's not going to get better. I think you need to decide if you actually want to be having this discussion for the next 10 years or so. If the answer is no then you are better off leaving now.
Why would you stay with someone who doesn't appreciate what you do and only tells you that you need to more. He's never going to be happy with what you do.

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Julie - posted on 04/27/2014

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hi there

im jewels so sorry to hear about ur situation my husband and I got married last dec been together 3n a half years all up he and I both met each other with our own children he had a little girl and older boy , and I a 3 yr old boy. my son calls my husband daddy n about 8 months ago his daughter also my little girl asked me while I was serving tea "can I call u mummy " I polightly explained who was who but without hindering her clear feeling let her know that I love her and if that's how she feels then that's lovley . the older boy calls me by first name I have never forced the issue at all its not in my nature we have full custody of all 3 children .. keep smiling don't take it too seriously n try n stay calm and happy xxxx

Angel - posted on 04/26/2014

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I did many times but everything stayed the same...He keeps telling that I have to change it

Angel - posted on 04/26/2014

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Before I even got to know the child he told me that I need to start being a mom to her that's when we first met. I treat her like I Do my son I bought her clothes but no matter what I do he gets upset cause its not enough...I can only do so much since his mother has full custody of her

Liz - posted on 04/26/2014

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I don't understand why this bothers you. You are already a parent for one thing and also had to know that your fiancé had a child when you accepted his proposal. What exactly did you envisage happening?

Usually the issue with step-parenting is when the bio parent doesn't want you to fully parent their child or be involved in important decisions such as discipline, so your fiancé is showing you some trust and a wish for an integrated family for which he should be commended!

If his daughter wants to call you mom, she should come to that in her own time and not be forced, but she isn't likely to do this if she feels as if you make a distinction between her and your son.

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