I'm broke. Should I have another baby?

Michelle - posted on 11/20/2009 ( 100 moms have responded )

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I have 2 little girls now. I would love another child. This would be our last. I couldn't imagine not having another one, but were are really strugling finacially right now. I don't want to wait until we have more money because the age gap will be too large. I have plenty of love, but not much money. Am I being selfish?

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Sharon - posted on 11/21/2009

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Oh yeah by all means squeeze another one out. That'd be great. Another kid who has no hope of a gainful future - YAY!!! But his mommy loves him, that'll fix everything!

Lucy - posted on 11/22/2009

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Quoting Sharon:

I refuse to be supportive to a woman who is only thinking of herself and not the children she has or the child she intends to bring into this world without the ability to care for it.

Love will not diaper the babys' ass or put clothes on it.


Nobody expects you to! Like the majority of ladies who have replied to Michelle's question you think it would be wrong for her to have another child if she cannot support it, and I absolutely agree. However, in keeping with the sisterly spirit of this forum, those ladies have all expressed this in a straight forward but polite way. There is simply no reason for the rudeness of your earlier post.

Pam - posted on 11/21/2009

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A couple of thoughts:
1. Age. If you're in your 40s and/or had trouble conceiving, then the biological clock is running. If you are in your 20s and have already had 2 successful pregnancies, you have time to wait. Older kids can be more helpful with a new baby and often the age difference means less sibling rivalry, not more., You have more one-on-one time when the kids are not all close in age, plus you're not paying for 3 college tuitions (or other major expenses like braces) at the same time.

2. Budget. Include money for at least one emergency (job loss, major medical expense, house fire) and figure what you'd have to earn to provide for one more child. Not sure how old your girls are, but figure on future expenses you'll want to cover: holiday presents and outfits; ballet, art, swimming or music lessons and instruments/supplies; field trip $$ and gas to get them places; athletic fees, sports shoes, uniforms, equipment, insurance and trainers/coaches; scouting/club dues, uniforms & trips; school pictures, orchestra competition fees, tickets to see them at the game or in the school play, those miserable school fundraisers or Girl Scout cookie sales--there's always something you're expected to pay for.

3. Future income. Will there be much more in the future (2 incomes instead of 1, new degree leading to promotion, more lucrative career field) or will your income be relatively flat? Do you want to be able to pay or help pay for college, trade school or grad school for you or the girls (check out 529 plans now)? Save for a home? Vehicle (will you need a bigger car/van w. more kids)? Trip? Retirement? At what age do you and/or your hubby want to stop working? Will this be financially possible?

4. Health. Any issues that could impact your income/retirement age such as early-onset Alzheimer's, history of certain cancers or other debilitative diseases, chance of permanent injury in the line of duty or chronic medical conditions? Any history/risk of your 3rd child having genetic or other problems (Down syndrome, Tay-Sachs, club foot, cleft palate) requiring surgery or long-term care? And don't forget glasses/contacts.

5. Moving. Not sure where you are, but if you're moved to high-expense area (NYC, San Fran., DC), could you afford the cost of living, afford more than an efficiency or be comfortable with hours of commuting from the next state?

Hey, if finances mean you stop at 2 kids, just look forward to grandchildren! They're fun AND you can give them back when you're tired!

[deleted account]

Quoting Laura:

first: how broke are we talkin' here?

Is it like "I can't go buy myself a new outfit"kind of broke, or is it "I can't afford to feed the two I've got" kind of broke? Cause there is a big difference.

If it's the first kind, I agree with most of the people on here...if it's the second, I hate to say it but I'm with Sharon.



Yep, I agree-it totally makes a difference as far as what kind of broke we're talking.



I don't hate to say that I'm with Sharon-I might not be quite as blunt, but I agree. =)



There's a certain mentality of "you're never really ready" that's often used as an excuse. There's a difference between not being able to afford elaborate things that are nice but unnecessary and not being able to afford food, clothing and shelter. If it's the food, clothing, and shetler that are the issue, then wait. If it's just things like not being able to afford high end clothing and hundred dollar shoes, that's different.

[deleted account]

Quoting Sharon:

Oh yeah by all means squeeze another one out. That'd be great. Another kid who has no hope of a gainful future - YAY!!! But his mommy loves him, that'll fix everything!


Sharon, your comments are not at all supportive. I like to think this is a place where Mums can come for constructive advice. I am disappointed to see your response.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

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Katie - posted on 02/17/2013

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Live simply. Have another one. You can always make more money, but being able to have another child expires. I know several families who live off of very little, have many children and are very, very happy and stress free. Cut back on the wants, and save up for the needs. you'll make it work! good luck!

Lacey - posted on 11/24/2009

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I had my daughter when i was very young and was def. not finacially ready and it's put alot of stress on me and my family and 2yrs later i'm married and were getting more finacially stable and it has been a lot of stress on us and has almost split all of us apart its a very hard time right now so my suggestion to you is simple follow your heart and don't listen to what anyone else tells you to do. if your heart is telling you to have another child and you know you can make it thru finacially one way or another go for it but if u have the slightest hesatation in your heart about it wait even a few more months and reconsider.

Brenda - posted on 11/24/2009

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i think that really is up to you and your husband. babies are a blessing from god. i know times are hard for alot of people right now so having another baby might be to much right now. love your girls and be thankful for them. i believe if it is for you to have a baby then god will bless you with one.

Tracy - posted on 11/24/2009

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I personally would be inclined to wait because at the end of the day you just want the best for your kids...I know that having lots of love to give is great but you will also need the money to keep them healthy and happy,but its your decision at the end of the day.

Heidi - posted on 11/24/2009

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Quoting April:



Quoting Amanda:

Why not? There's always welfare, WIC and everything else out there to help you out.


Thats nice!! I pay taxes, and I cant even get my boys health insurance!! So please let me pay for your kids to get the assistance they need while I work my butt off paying $1500.00 in dental and medical bills! I make minimum wage, If I were to have another baby the state would support me! Isnt that nice to know! Its so sad to me to know that women would actually think of that as an answer to having another baby!! Do you know that a WIC or LINC card can get you an $80 cake at loven oven!!! Please tell me why this is ok!! I have to make my boys cakes but my girlfriend can get a primo cake for free!! I helped pay for that cake!! and if you pay taxes so did you!! Answers such as these makes me realize why we are all in financial ruins!! Thanks to the selfish men and women who take way too much for granted!! Im one of those single moms who is pushed to the side when trying to get assistance, know this as well, if I quit my job, I could also get these perks!! Weighing my options, these are my boys and I will take care of them myself, quit my job, no way!! If you rely on the state as your means of support you are not a parent, you are just the sitter! This is not meant for the moms who actually need this!! This is for the moms who think they deserve it and will use it for all they want!!



Are you joking?!  People like you make me sick.  And it's people like this that ruin programs for those of us who are working their BUTTS off and need a little temporary support; not to live off of!  Terrible, terrible, terrible!





 

Heidi - posted on 11/24/2009

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Seems such a silly question, take a look at the whole picture! You will stress later on about money, and much much more!! No none of us are probably ever fully financially stable to have the children that we want, but that is why we are adults, making adult decisions! Give your girls a good life, they deserve it! Dont be selfish to them! You had them for a reason, make it a great one! Having the baby costs money, but giving them what they need costs more, remember that!

[deleted account]

Babies cost money so if you dont have money it would be hard on you to have another baby. I had three and i was a single Mom and some days i didnt know if i would have enough money for supper.But by the grace of God i made it somehow.I guess it depends on you. We do have cut backs here and there in our lifestyles. And somehow we always manage.Good luck

Paige - posted on 11/24/2009

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If you are personally ready for another baby i say go for it.. If really it's all about the money than in my opinion yes it is very selfish.. Who in their right minds would have a child just do benifit their financial problems? After all you may think that having another child will benefit you having more money, but look on the other side you will have that child forever and after spending all that is needed on a child you won;t really have that much money that is left after all of that.. On the other hand if you are really wanting another child, and it would also benefit you, and ou fell thta the timing is right.. I say go for it.. I wouldn't doubt that you'd have alot of love to give.. But my real answer is if you were having a baby just for the money, yes that is very selfish..

Jodi - posted on 11/24/2009

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Quoting Samantha:

I don't think it's selfish at all... you can always go through WIc for formula and food for your other daughters (depending on their ages) and I know it sounds corny but, you'll amaze yourself when you think you won't have enough money for diapers or wipes or whatever... you will. Somehow it ALWAYS works out!!



This is a whole different topic, I know, but really?  It's okay with you that someone just has more children and then relies on the government to assist in supporting them?  I assume you are okay with your tax dollars going to people who are making CHOICES to have families when they know they really can't afford to without the government paying for it?



Michelle, I do realise this is not your situation, as you have mentioned that you and your husband are currently just going through temporary tough times, and you are completely independent.  So my comment above is not in any way directed at you, but to all those who believe that it is totally okay to make a choice that will end up with you relying on government handouts. 

Lauren - posted on 11/24/2009

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If I couldn't afford another child, I wouldn't have one. You can love your child but love isn't enough they need shelter, warmth, clothes, food and for that you need money.

Christina - posted on 11/24/2009

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my advise is if your putting it off due to finances you'll always find reason to keep putting it off,if you really want another baby go for it,you'll find that you'll always manage money wise.

[deleted account]

Quoting Sharon:

Oh yeah by all means squeeze another one out. That'd be great. Another kid who has no hope of a gainful future - YAY!!! But his mommy loves him, that'll fix everything!



I'm sorry but I have to agree with Sharon here.



Love doesn't pay rent/clothes/food/petrol/childcare. These come at a cost. I know what it's like to live off goverment assistance- we had to do it when my partner lost his job. We had to not pay bills just so that we could feed our son. I've since gone back to full time employement. I hate living off benefits.



I know this has nothing to do with your situation, but here in my country, there are so many couples here who abuse what help they get. They get pregnant thinking "yeah I'll just go in to WINZ, they'll give me a benefit, and when I need more money, hey i'll just pop another one out! They don't have jobs. I knew of a lady who used to go into a WINZ office, demand money and she would get a 32 inch (I think thats how big it was) flat screen tv.



We would love to have another child, but are waiting till we are in a better position.

[deleted account]

I don't think it's selfish at all... you can always go through WIc for formula and food for your other daughters (depending on their ages) and I know it sounds corny but, you'll amaze yourself when you think you won't have enough money for diapers or wipes or whatever... you will. Somehow it ALWAYS works out!!

Romy - posted on 11/24/2009

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If you think about it, will you be able to give your two other kids a better life as is...cos you must remember that as much as we all want more kids (or just in my case) if you can make 2 kids lives managable & happy then why would you make three kids lives unbearable with struggling and hard times. This is purely for you to use your own discretion but at the same time, think of the pressure you'll be placing not only upon yourself, but your partner and family as well. Hope all goes well with whichever choice you make :-)

Sara_co2006 - posted on 11/23/2009

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i just had my second daughter we def arent financially stable. but my kids get everything they need. and i say that as long as you can provide the essentials, then go for it. If you feel that your ready in every other way why wait. We had our two girls really close in age on purpose, cause I didnt want them to far apart either. lol. But ya for sure have that baby if thats what you want. Like someone else said its all up to you, and your family.

Tania - posted on 11/23/2009

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HI MICHELLE,thanx so much 4 your question,this dilemna has been on my mind for months,argueing with myself that i am self-centred.Reading the replies helps me,but stil dont have a decision!!!!!lol

Heather - posted on 11/23/2009

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AMEN SISTER! i too have four children! and my husband never made much money..but he was laid off last year from his job of 9 years.. me a stay at home mom.. and i found out i was pregnant with our fifth child just two months after he lost his job! owch was our response! i found out i was having my first little girl.. i was over the moon with joy! and then she was still born.. leaving me to thing about how beautiful and fragile life is! how absolutely wonderful and what true blessings having children are! all i could think about when i got pregnant was what did we get into.. and then when she was stillborn all i could think about was how much i was going to love her and cherish her.. dont let people tell you you have to have tons of money to have children.. it is all about the love they receive.. the morals they are raised with.. and the honor that is instilled in them! not about the high priced clothing on their backs.. or the top of the line toys in their boxes..

Heather - posted on 11/23/2009

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Quoting Michelle:

No one can make the choice but you, but it's in your heart. I have 4 children, and I am a stay at home mom. My husband is a soldier, averaging around $2000 a month. We do not live in post housing, so we have to pay rent and utilities, plus the extra gas for him to get to and from work daily. Have we ever had the money for kids? No. Will we ever? Maybe when he makes rank 2 or 3 more times and we have our last baby out of diapers. But you know what we have? Love. We may shop at Goodwill for clothes and other things we need, but our kids don't mind. They don't care about the monetary value placed on things because they have been growing up where love counts more than the amount we spend on them. Some years Christmas comes from Dollar Tree. They really don't care. 2 ways you can save money is to go the old fashioned way and breast feed (saving TONS on formula!) and cloth diapers. It's really not as hard to do as everyone says. It's just being able to re use diapers instead of having to buy more and run out at a bad time. You can use disposable wipes, or even cheap washcloths you wash with the diapers to wipe the hiney. There is help out there when you need it...churches, groups, etc. I have been recently thinking of having another one, and money is not the factor in thinking about it. We are able to give our children a roof over their head, food in their bellies, a few toys to play with, and clothes on their backs. They may not all be the newest or most up to date fashion, but they work. And my kids have grown up appreciating what they have. So, if you and your sig other are in agreement on doing it, who cares what anyone else thinks? Look back at the Great Depression...did people stop having kids? Or did they find ways to stretch things out more for their family. They grew up with not much in the material side, but they all had plenty of love. So, just think on it and if you are both in agreement, go for it.


 

Heather - posted on 11/23/2009

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im assuming you already have what you need for a new baby from the previous two.. and low income is easily overcome by things like buying used. my husband and i dont have much..but we have four beautiful little boys.. all but one unexpected.. and it has been the biggest joy of our lives.. children have no idea how much money you have..all they care about is the amount of love you can give them.. being broke doesnt have to mean you shouldnt have the family you want.. it just means that you will have to be a little more conservative about your purchases.. GOOD LUCK!

Julie - posted on 11/23/2009

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Quoting Sharon:

I refuse to be supportive to a woman who is only thinking of herself and not the children she has or the child she intends to bring into this world without the ability to care for it.

Love will not diaper the babys' ass or put clothes on it.



Sharon, you don't need to be supportive - just polite.  You jumped the gun in judging the OP and her situation.  The OP elucidated on her financial situation, she's far from being unable to care for her children, she might just have to stretch a buck a bit further.  Both she and her husband work and are financially independent.  Clearly she is thinking of the children she has, or she'd have already gotten pregnant instead of ruminating over it. 



To the OP: I agree though, it might be wiser to hold off on expanding the family until you're on firmer ground, so-to-speak.  Perhaps you can start putting aside a small nest egg for the time in the future when you and your husband decide it's a good time to try again.

Christy - posted on 11/23/2009

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I agree with the people who say that if we all wait until we are financially ready, then none of us would be here. However, should you actively try is the question. You and only you and your husband can make that choice! If it were me, I would stop preventing, but not actively try either and just see what happens. If it is meant to be, it's meant to be, if not then nothing will happen.

Angel - posted on 11/23/2009

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Michelle-we couldn't 'afford' our four either, but we had them-we just didn't do all the 'outings' like movies, fancy birthday parties, high dollar toys, etc. and our four kids are some of the best adults I know. Spending time with them in volunteer activities, church, school, 4-H, etc. makes up for any lack of monetary 'things' you could give them. My folks had 8 of us, and mom always said "God will provide" and he always did. ALWAYS!!! I'll be praying for you!!!

Ivey - posted on 11/23/2009

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Be thankful for the healthy 2 you have and can take care of. Its not fair to the ones already here to loose out because of a new baby

Tracey - posted on 11/23/2009

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I am in the same position only it has taken us ages (3years) and 6 miscarriages and an eptopic so We are happy that we are having a baby and We will get by, but We cant wait not with our history so bite the bullet if You think it is right for Youx

Sheila - posted on 11/22/2009

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Hey, Michelle. In my opinion, I don't care who you are, you are never really financially ready to have a new baby. You just learn to adjust. I feel that if you want another baby, you should. Atleast you are not one of those people who have kids on accident and don't want them, so the children suffer. I personally do not think you are selfish. I have 2 girls myself, but there is 7 years between them. It is a large gap, but I look at it this way, atleast I won't have 2 teenagers in the house at once. lol. Best of luck with your decision, and best wishes to you and your family.

Gail - posted on 11/22/2009

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no I don't think so. I have heard that from a lot of people, but if you want to have money then you will not have another child in this day and age the way that money is with people even the rich are losing money. If you and your husband want to have another child then do so. And the question that you need to ask yourself is what are you really going to be waiting for money or family?

Mellisa - posted on 11/22/2009

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Quoting Michelle:

I'm broke. Should I have another baby?

I have 2 little girls now. I would love another child. This would be our last. I couldn't imagine not having another one, but were are really strugling finacially right now. I don't want to wait until we have more money because the age gap will be too large. I have plenty of love, but not much money. Am I being selfish?



No, I feel the same way and I don't think we'll ever be able to afford another one. Just follow your heart and do your best financially. I always say we can live on love and let God handle the rest.  

Michelle - posted on 11/22/2009

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Apparently I have left out a lot of useful information. I am 27 years old. Husband is also. The girls are 6 and 3, and they do not want for anything.

The husband and I both want another baby. He may slightly more than I do.

I have a good job and work full time. Husband works construction and the economy is hurting his work. He makes very good money when he's working. Getting a different job at this time is not an option since he is in no danger of losing his job, which in this day and age is priceless. Work is sporatic, but it is there. I think based on all of your comments that once the economy gets back on it's feet, we will too. Thanks to all of you who were polite. Some of you could use some tact. I also have to take some of the blame for leaving out so much info. I am not on welfare, or wic, or food stamps. I breast fed both my children, and do not buy them expensive things. We have a large extened family and get a lot of second hand toys and clothes. The broke part is based on the time now, and also I will have to split the money I have for them 3 ways instead of 2.

Plus it's things like, most cars are made for a family of 4. Hotel rooms usually come with 2 queen size beds, and so on. We would have an odd number. I know these things sound neurotic, but they do have to be thought about. I am asking this is a public forum because everyone in my life is telling me to go for it. I haven't heard any other points of view. I needed that. I have made my decision.

Lori - posted on 11/22/2009

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No. It is not responsible. It's not fair to put the burden on your husband and other children. Give those two you already have extra love! :)

Shonene - posted on 11/22/2009

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Quoting Carla:

Planning another child is very serious. I had my first child at 16, another at 18, and was told I could never have another, but guess what? Along came #3 at 22. We lived in a little 14x70 trailer, but we made room. She turned out to be one of our true joys in life. We did, however, make the hard decision to have a tubal ligation after she was born. We wanted lots of children, but we were very young (husband 20), you talk about poor! There were a million times I regretted not being able to have another, but when the kids got older they started bring strays home (kids), sometimes for a weekend, sometimes for years. Our doors were always open, and our love abounded to these kids who needed some. Maternal instincts know no biological boundaries. Maybe do foster care--all states are in desperate need of loving families, and the requirements are not stringent. You got options, kiddo, and you got time.


WOW...If I could stand up and applaude, I would!  Maternal instincts definitely know no biological boundaries.  I work in the system, and you are absolutely correct!  Desperation is exactly what we feel, not just for the kids, but for those opening their homes for them.  They come in all shapes, sizes, ethnicities, and ages. 



All of those little babies need SOMEONE to love them!  I love this recommendation and applaude this idea!.....

LaKesha - posted on 11/22/2009

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I think it would be OK, that is really up to you and your husband, if he wants another one then what the heck. Just pray and ask God what you should do after all children aer a blessing from God!

Jodi - posted on 11/22/2009

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Quoting jessica:

i think you need to sit down and work out your money, just to see if your able to cover the costs. but really children dont need money all they need is love and there family.



Yep, all that love will pay for the diapers, as they get older, the food, and boy, it will most certainly pay for their shoes and clothes when they start to grow.......  Ever had a teenager?  I can tell you now, all the love in the world is not going to get you through those years!



If you are genuinely "broke", DO NOT have another baby now.  Nothing wrong with an age gap - I have 7 1/2 years between mine.  Its actually quite refreshing sometimes having such a young one now that my son is heading into his teens (and eating me out of house and home, thought I'd throw that in).

Lorin - posted on 11/22/2009

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think about the strain put on the WHOLE family. have you talked to your husband/partner/SO about having a third? you and daddy would have a lot of sacrifices to make in order to take care of everybody, and if you think you two can handle that, great. but remember who else suffers... your two girls pay just as high a price as their parents do when another child comes around, and that third child will also have a less than ideal life because of what you're not able to provide for him or her. how large is "too large" for an age gap? my husband is 15 years older than his younger brother and they love each other as much as any other siblings i know. unless you're getting high in maternal age and increasing your risk of complications by waiting, there's no logical reason to have another child now - only emotional reasons. i don't say you're selfish, but maybe getting tunnel vision because of how much you want that third baby.

April - posted on 11/22/2009

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Quoting Amanda:

Why not? There's always welfare, WIC and everything else out there to help you out.



Are you joking?!  People like you make me sick.  And it's people like this that ruin programs for those of us who are working their BUTTS off and need a little temporary support; not to live off of!  Terrible, terrible, terrible!

April - posted on 11/22/2009

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You answered it yourself by the topic of your post "i'M BROKE" While I agree that 'no one is ever financially ready' I also do NOT support having another child with the mindset that the state will take care of you so being broke is "no big deal".

[deleted account]

Yes, I think you should wait, reason: My daughter has 9 kids and her and her husband are living on wic food stamps, he does work but can't afford to feed the kids so they are on welfare to help them, please for the sake of your two kids, Spend time with them and don't be selfish,

[deleted account]

How often do you & the father of your children fight over money? This will only increase when you have another child! My husband's mother had 4 boys could you imagine how many kids she would have had to have to have a girl? Just because you have another child does not mean that it will be the gender you want! I have 2 boys, wanted a girl, but can't afford more kids and WILL NOT consider having another one until I finish a bachelors degree so I can get employment that will help me pay for the kids I have. All I figure is if I wait until my degree is done and end up having a kid in 5 years (which is not at all appealing to me) but if i did...and it turned out to be a girl! I'd only have her in HS to be able to afford some ungodly pricey gown for her homecoming & prom dances! That is a bonus! I can understand, I don't want to have an 8yr old & a 5 yr old & bring in a newborn...but if that's how it works then I'd rather do it that way then bring the new one in now only to have another boy...ugh...I kinda figure if I give it time a girl is more likely? Who knows...

[deleted account]

I believe money isn't everything but if your are already struggling, why put more stress on yourself, your marriage, and the children you already have.

Melanie - posted on 11/22/2009

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Quoting Sharon:

Oh yeah by all means squeeze another one out. That'd be great. Another kid who has no hope of a gainful future - YAY!!! But his mommy loves him, that'll fix everything!



Sharon,



   Why do you always feel the need to be rude nad negative on everything you answer? She was just asking for opinions but maybe you should just keep your opinions to yourself.



 



I am sorry for anyone that has to read Sharon's answers when really all people are doing is asking for advice!

Shani - posted on 11/22/2009

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Quoting Amanda:

Why not? There's always welfare, WIC and everything else out there to help you out.



Are you serious?  Please, I hope the answer is No, because believe me, I am NOT interested in taking care of anyone else's kids, and people who KNOW they cannot afford to have another child should not consider welfare as an option.  I have one child.  One is all I can afford.  I don't expect anyone else (other than his father) to assist me financially in this, nor should I.  We pay for his health insurance, his food, the roof over his head, all of his needs etc, and its a struggle.  I would be a fool to go and have another one!  How about spending all the time you will have NOT taking care of a newborn to do something to help yourself and your family get into a better financial position, like going back to school or updating your resume to get a better job or working a second job from home or something BEFORE you produce more offspring.  Trust me, as a taxpayer, I would appreciate it.

Shani - posted on 11/22/2009

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Quoting Amanda:

Why not? There's always welfare, WIC and everything else out there to help you out.



Are you serious?  Please, I hope the answer is No, because believe me, I am NOT interested in taking care of anyone else's kids, and people who KNOW they cannot afford to have another child should not consider welfare as an option.  I have one child.  One is all I can afford.  I don't expect anyone else (other than his father) to assist me financially in this, nor should I.  We pay for his health insurance, his food, the roof over his head, all of his needs etc, and its a struggle.  I would be a fool to go and have another one!  How about spending all the time you will have NOT taking care of a newborn to do something to help yourself and your family get into a better financial position, like going back to school or updating your resume to get a better job or working a second job from home or something BEFORE you produce more offspring.  Trust me, as a taxpayer, I would appreciate it.

Linda - posted on 11/22/2009

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I'm not trying to tell you what to do, but if I was in your shoes I wouldn't have another child now. If you are strugling finacially it's not a good time to bring another child into the world. Wait, so what if there is a big gap between ages...at least he/she wouldn't have do with out...

Joy - posted on 11/22/2009

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No you are not. If you think that you can provide for the baby then have another one. But make sure that all your children don't do without.

Lisa - posted on 11/22/2009

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I completley dont want to sound harsh but I do think it is a little selfish. If you aren't financially stable and you have another child you will be struggling even more and you will be taking away from what you can give your 2 little ones now. It wouldn't be far to any of your children... I would definitely wait! At least until you guess have a plan of action of how you will survive and not be putting your 2 little ones on the back burner trying to get money for the new baby, I think they might become resentful towards the new baby.

Helen - posted on 11/22/2009

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it depends. if money is just tight but your wages can just about cover it then i would say yes. id you rely on benefits or support from others i would say no. I can understand some of these angry posts ( although some are just rude). Those women who are on benefits just drive me up the wall when they pop out number 3, 4, 5, 6 etc with the knowledge that someone else will pay for their child. while people like me work hard all week (and have to have someone else look after their child) just so that 1/3 of our wages can be taken away to look after those children whose mothers are to lazy to get a job. so to all those on benefits please just keep your legs crossed!!

Temika - posted on 11/22/2009

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I can understand where you are coming from but that is something that you have to think about. Babies and children in general are expensive. Atleast you have 2 other children and hopefully you can reuse some of the things from your other children. You can even shop at thrift stores for clothes and maybe some other stuff. I would say do whatever makes you guys happy. With the economy the way it is you are going to be broke for a while just like the rest of us lol.

Sharon - posted on 11/22/2009

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I refuse to be supportive to a woman who is only thinking of herself and not the children she has or the child she intends to bring into this world without the ability to care for it.

Love will not diaper the babys' ass or put clothes on it.

Alice - posted on 11/22/2009

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How old are the children? I had two children a girl, then a boy I thought that it was perfect one of each. I did want more I too love children. However my husband and I split up. Then 13 years later my doctor told me I was pregnant. I now have one girl and two boys. The years between does not matter. The money does not matter; what is another potatoe or two. We will always have bills. What do you really want maybe just enjoy the ones you have now and decide later.

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