I'm can't do this anymore

Tiffany - posted on 04/19/2016 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I've dealt with severe depression my whole life. I am a single mom of two boys. Their father is no longer in the picture their grandparents either have drug and alcohol problems I have no support. My ex who was very manipulative convinced me to drop out of school when I got pregnant and be a stay at home mom while he worked. After almost four years he and I decided to have another child (he had been pushing for a while) three week's after our second child was born he bolted.. I was jobless with two kids to support and nearly became homeless. I hate my life so much I don't have a job still because I keep losing daycare I don't have a car we,walk everywhere. I can barley afford the room I rent from my mother who is constantly drinking I have no other family support on either side and I want to kill myself. I love my kids they're great and I get constant compliments on them. But I don't connect with them I hate being around them but I force it. And I get so angry all the time and yell I'm a horrible mom I'm a horrible person for not wanting my kids..

7 Comments

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JoJo - posted on 05/05/2016

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I know depression is hard. Stay strong.. look into social help .. it will help you get up and going in no time! food, shelter, cash assistance, and even daycare ..

hang in there !

Stacey - posted on 05/05/2016

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Hi Tiffany -
A few weeks have passed by - and I wanted to check in to see how you're doing and hope that you have found a good support system to help you through your struggle!

It is my continued prayer that you feel His presence and follow His lead.

-P

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
Matthew 11:28 (NIV)

Renee Velasquez - posted on 04/22/2016

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I continue to pray right now that you seek the God of heaven and earth He can bring peace into your soul.When Im overwhelmed I pray and in a moments time His spirit quickens my soul Im never alone even in the darkest of circumstances God has made away for me and my kids.Im not relgious I have a one on One relationship with Jesus.He never fails like people! I have been in a shelter recently and know homelessness,Trusting for permanent housing for my children but for now God has made a way.Im content in whatever I am in b/c He is with me ...Us! My husband is out there I could be bitter mad hurt etc.but why waste energy trust me I can see the gloom too but I haven chosen to look beyond the mess and get the true Message.We can't control others but we have the power over how we control Our actions our responses our words...Power life and Death are in the power of our tongue.Use the lips to speak peace be greatful for healthy kids a room of your own play christian stations on the radio or tv.focus on Him and not all the crap(sorry)Make a list of good pin it up You are young go to school get your focus there are so many options and child care provided choose friends wisely getting high or drinking opens yourself up to the enemy...like a flood Knocks you off your feet so does dope..legal or not it alters the senses for a little while and when the high subsides and it always does your stuck in the Reality of...the ugly situation.love you..in the name of Jesus be free
Renee

Tiffany - posted on 04/20/2016

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Thank you so much for your encouraging words Renee I honestly feel a small bit of hope reading the responses and everyone trying to help

Renee Velasquez - posted on 04/20/2016

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I know the load seems to heavy to carry alone.I know that death seems to be an easy alternative but my friend its only by grace I am alive I too was a victim of depression the anger and suicide thoughts would contol my days and nights only GOD has rmoved the heaviness I will say you have resources that can help assist. Whole Child, has services that can help with the depression, day care, job search, education, housing 211 Let them know how overwhelmed you feel and you will get the help be careful how you say things some agencies will try and take your kids so Heads up.
You can do all things through Christ Jesus who strenghtens you.Trust him He will not fail us like people do. Keep on posting dont give up your a beautiful valuable woman and your children are gifts from God just know everything is going to be alright. Peace and Blessing

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/20/2016

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Time for counseling, and perhaps parenting classes.

Stacey - posted on 04/20/2016

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Tiffany,
First of all, you are not a "horrible mom!" You are mom who happens to be having a really difficult time right now. Parenting is HARD work - especially when we cannot get the support from those we hoped to rely on. We get so tired and wonder if it will ever get better. I can tell you... it WILL.
You CAN do this! Do you have a friend you can call? Is there a church nearby where you can visit with a pastor? Even though is seems as though you are alone - YOU ARE NOT - there are so many people who are willing to help, who WANT to help. Are you willing to ask? If you open your hand, you will find those who truly want to fill it up with love, kindness and compassion! There are those who can give you direction toward just the right agency or services to assist you with what you need. I do want to encourage you to visit the following link. On the sidebar you will find a number to connect you with someone who can there someone will provide initial guidance and resources to help you thrive.

Tiffany, I am praying for you right now. Please come back to this sight often. Do not lose hope. Stay strong.

http://bit.ly/240JfVq

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